I actually cut out a lot yet this is still on the long side, so be warned. Sorry in advance.
SECTION ONE: ASSETS AND DEBT
Retirement Balance: ~$4,740. $4,450 in a Roth IRA I opened when I turned 26. I just recently started contributing more to it regularly. I was previously focused on building my emergency savings up. My last job didn’t offer retirement until the very end of my time there, and there was no employer match. I contributed the bare minimum to my 401k; it has about $300 in it. With my current job, retirement match is factored into the salary.
Equity: $0. Not a home owner.
Savings account balance: $15,765. $1,150 in a Chase savings account, $13,519 in a HYSA, $1,046 in my Qapital account. Technically I use Qapital to save for taxes, but I know I won’t owe anywhere close to $1,000 since my 2020 freelancing was infrequent. I doubt it’ll even be up to $250.
Checking account balance: $2,227 (payday was today!)
Credit card debt: $0. I use my credit card like a debit card so I can rack up cash back. I pay it off every day.
Student loan debt: $21,417. I graduated in 2015 with a BA in French and English. Original debt was ~$33,000. Before the pandemic my interest was 4.5%. Interest is now 0%.
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SECTION TWO: INCOME PROGRESSION2015-2016 - $15/hr as a remote intern for a major website. This was my first paid position out of college. I learned a lot about web content and writing for online audiences. This was part-time at 25 hours a week.
2016 - $2,700/month as a Content Writer. I created scripts and training materials for various companies to train their employees. Started this job in March and was unexpectedly laid off in December. Sucked at the time but turns out it was a blessing in disguise...The work was soulless and I didn’t like it.
2017 - ~$850/month stipend as an Americorps VISTA. At the start of the year I got a Development position at a nonprofit I volunteered at, hoping to gain grant writing experience. I absolutely would NOT have done this had I not been living at home. I also collected an additional $400 a month in unemployment until July since I was technically a federal volunteer, not an employee, therefore still eligible for benefits.
2017 - $37,000/year as a Development Coordinator, primarily writing grants. The person in this position left and I was asked to step in. I didn’t get my ed stipend since I ended my VISTA year 5 months early.
2018 - $38,250/year - COL raise.
2019 - $43,000/year then $45,000. I was promoted to manager.
2020 - $47,000/year - COL raise.
2020 - $60,000/year. I had been job hunting hard when COVID hit and I subsequently became discouraged. I was desperate to leave my job...the people I worked with were wonderful but I felt like my growth was stifled, the amount of staff turnover was draining, and our pay was below market rate. I ended up finding my new job through my network. I was very excited to not work in fundraising anymore. The events of 2020 confirmed that I didn’t want to make a career out of coaxing rich white folks to relinquish a tiny amount of their wealth to support youth of color. My now-boss and I talked extensively over Zoom before I received my offer letter in July. It’s been a great learning opportunity, even though starting a new job remotely is strange and sometimes lonely. Having a cat helps :)
Main Job Monthly Take Home**:** $3,846. This is after $50 is deducted for Vision, Dental, Medical.
Side Gig Monthly Take Home: $100-$400. I write product guides for a website sometimes. These days I only take on work if I’m anticipating new expenses that month. This income is in addition to my 60k salary, since what I make from my side hustle varies. Last year I made $2,200, the year before it was over $5,000.
Other: ~$250/year in cash back from my credit card
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SECTION THREE: EXPENSES
Rent: $1,025 in a decently-sized studio that I share with my cat. Rent encompasses all utilities, including internet. This is dropping down to $975 starting April 1 - yay!
Renters Insurance: $5
Savings (monthly unless it says otherwise): ~$300 goes into a High Yield Savings Account. I automate $50 a week then throw in an extra $100 - $200, depending on the month.
I save $80 - $120 with the Qapital app. I got it before they started charging so my account is free.
Retirement contribution: $315- $415 into a Roth IRA. Maybe I should up payments so I can max it out, really torn between that or boosting student loan payments. I throw an extra hundred dollars in there some months.
Debt payments: All I have is federal student loan debt. Since starting my job in July I’ve been paying $500/month, throwing in extra when I have it. I’m going to increase this to $600/month starting in February. Would love to have it paid off by the time I’m 30, or during my 30th year. I’m not holding my breath for student loan forgiveness, but if it starts to seem like a real possibility then I’ll cut back on payments.
Donations: $300 to my mom and dad. I come from a working-class background and make more than both parents combined. My dad was unemployed for a while, and as I write this has become unemployed again. I worry a lot about my folks financially. In our culture it’s expected that we take care of our parents as they age, so there’s that component too.
Also $25 to a local nonprofit. $9 to a local theater company for which I’m a board member. Our board is very low-key and not a fundraising one.
Then usually ~$500 more throughout the year for various causes.
Electric: Included in rent.
Wifi/Cable/Landline: Included in rent.
Cellphone: $43
Subscriptions: ~$63. $18 for Patreon, $10.89 for Spotify Premium, $16.34 for HBOMax, $7.62 for Disney+, $9.71 for Netflix.
Pet expenses: I spend roughly $80 on food + probiotics and $20 on litter, which I buy in bulk. The monthly amount really fluctuates though. I’ve spent about $1,500 on my cat since I adopted her in October. Including getting basic stuff like a litter box, a cat tree, toys, food/water bowls, a carrier, etc. along with the adoption fee. I took her to the vet earlier last month and that was $450. She was vomiting frequently :(
Car payment / insurance: $0. Car free, baby.
Therapy: $100
Paid hobbies: $120 annually for my personal website.
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FINANCIAL BACKGROUND
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes. I’m a child of immigrants and we place a high premium on education. Skipping college was never an option. Luckily, I’ve always done well in school and would have gone to college regardless. I think about grad school sometimes but there has to be a good ROI. Maybe one day. I borrowed 33k in student loans for undergrad, which isn’t that bad considering that I went to a private school that cost $200,000 over 4 years. I paid for the rest with work study, along with merit-based and need-based scholarships.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
We didn’t discuss finances too often. I did get an allowance when I was younger and paid for the things I wanted (mostly books and CDs from my local Borders) by saving that money. My parents always had the mindset that credit cards can work as emergency funds...as an adult I strongly oppose that way of thinking. My parents accrued a lot of credit card debt and I never wanted that to be me. Which is why I only use my CC now as a debit card. I never put anything on there that I can’t pay off in full.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
I was in this program where teens get paid to participate in arts programs. I did theater for three years in HS, I think the stipend was ~$400 every two months. My first real job with wages was working retail the summer before college. I was making $8.25/hr. Both jobs were for spending money.
Did you worry about money growing up?
I didn’t worry necessarily, but I was aware that there were people with more than us. My mom was out of work for a few years due to some chronic pain and we had a Link card then. I had free/reduced lunch growing up and got fee waivers for all of my college apps. I was also aware of my privilege as an American citizen. My parents regularly sent money home to poorer family members. I learned early that it’s better to be working class here than it is over there.
Do you worry about money now?
Yes. I know I’m luckier than many. But I also have no generational wealth to inherit. Sometimes I feel really behind when I see people my age or younger with six figures in their retirement, $50,000 in stocks, or money passed down from family. I worry most about taking care of my parents in old age. I have an older brother so it’s a relief that we can at least share costs, when the time comes.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I became 100% financially responsible when I moved out at age 25. Before then I was contributing $400/month towards rent. If I fell on really hard times I could probably move in with my folks, but otherwise I'm my own safety net.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My mom cashed out an $800 savings bond for spending money when I studied abroad in college, but otherwise nope.
Day 1 - Wednesday
morning
Another dreary January day. It’s been consistently snowing for the past two days and very overcast to boot. I spend some time lazing in bed until my Mom unexpectedly calls to ask me if I can print out her worker’s comp form to see if she'll qualify for any. She contracted COVID from her job a few weeks ago and, thankfully, is recovering. I tell her I don’t have a printer and hang up, slightly annoyed, after telling her I’ll print it from the library later. This was the 4th day in a row of her calling me and conversations with her can be hard to cut short (I’m not an asshole, honest).
I get up and feed my cat, E., her breakfast with a probiotic, take my gummy vitamins, and get ready for the day (brush teeth, moisturize face and hair, put on black skinny jeans and a navy and white speckled sweater with hoop earrings). I throw some sliced bananas, kale, frozen blueberries, honey, almond milk, and ginger into the blender for a smoothie. Once that’s poured into a glass I take a seat at my corner desk to begin my work day.
Afternoon
My foul mood lingers but I work through it. There’s a big deadline coming up soon so my days have been pretty full. E. climbs into my lap while I work and I give her some head rubs. I adopted her 4 months ago. There was a learning curve for me, as someone who grew up with 0 pets, but E.’s made it very worthwhile. She only recently began to "loaf" in my lap and I love it, even during inopportune moments like Zoom meetings.
Lunchtime! Today it’s tomato basil soup I made over the weekend with open-faced grilled cheese on french bread. The bread is getting stale but it’s almost finished anyhow, and slathering it with cheese and butter works wonders. I put out the kitty’s lunch, too. E. eats some of it then jumps into my bed, curling up for a midday nap. Wish I could do the same. Sigh.
I buckle down and get back to work, now doing somewhat-tedious data entry. After about an hour and a half I decide to walk to the library to print my mom’s forms. I order a Toasted White Hot Chocolate with almond milk from Starbucks ($4.60) so I have something warm to drink on my walk. I’m not a coffee drinker because of my caffeine sensitivity. Sometimes even a mug of black tea will make me lightheaded if I drink it too fast!
Evening
Work day is over. I outline my to-do list for tomorrow and cross off the things I accomplished today. My Dad is downstairs to pick up the forms I printed for my mom. After dropping off the forms I change into comfy clothes and assign myself a freelance assignment. I’m applying for a weekend writing workshop next month that will cost $300. I may not get in, but in case I do, I want to be prepared! The fun thing about my freelancing is that I get to choose the topics I want to write about. I select an assignment on skincare products.
Time to make breakfast for dinner: smashed fingerling potatoes with sauteed bell pepper, red onion, and broccoli topped with a fried egg and half an avocado. Seasoned with Lawry's and drizzled with sriracha. I get cozy on my loveseat to eat dinner. I also send an email to a man I've been corresponding with daily, D, for the last month and a half. We met out of the blue on an online forum - not Reddit - and have been enjoying each other's online company :) I'm not rushing to label anything, especially since he lives a state away. We're just seeing where things go for now.
For the rest of the evening I read my book while E. sleeps curled up next to me and Wendy Williams plays on TV. Then I get into my nighttime routine: smoke from my one hitter, put on some music and hop in the shower, where I also wash my face. Out the shower, I lotion up with shea butter and rub a gentle toner on my face. I make a mental note to re-up on weed soon. It's taxed to hell (welcome to Cook County. They tax everything here) but at least it's stimulating the local economy. I floss and brush my teeth before getting under the covers.
TOTAL: $4.60
Day 2 - Thursday
Morning
My body naturally wakes me up around 7:30. I remain in bed, mostly browsing Reddit on my phone, before committing to getting out of bed. I feed E. her breakfast and daily probiotic, take gummy vitamins and clean the last of my dishes from the night before. The sun pours through my south-facing windows and my heart sings - yesss, let there be light! I brush my teeth, moisturize my hair with coconut oil and moisturize my face. I pick out a black ribbed turtleneck and black high-waist jeans to wear, but ultimately decide to rock my loungewear until I have to leave my apartment.
I make a smoothie with the other avocado half from last night, frozen mango chunks, the last of my frozen blueberries, ginger, almond milk, and honey. I highly recommend avocados in smoothies. The creamy texture is to die for! I log into my work email and have a couple fires to put out. While I work, I polish off the rest of my Vitner’s Crunchy Kurls. IYKYK. I also reply to my email from D. this morning. Yesterday we were both in bad moods but this morning we’re doing better, mood wise. We talk about how rough our Januaries were - with my mom recovering from COVID and his dad in the hospital since the beginning of the year - and how we deserve a nice treat for getting through the month. We agree that lifetime supplies of books (for me) and movies (for him) would be fitting.
afternoon
My morning was full speed ahead but things are slowing down so I pause to read a Money Diary on here. I so admire this diarist’s conviction in language learning/maintenance! My French is dans la poubelle because I haven’t kept up in a long time. For a while I’d do Duolingo, watch French-language movies and shows on Netflix, and book trips to Francophone cities so I could practice speaking (last trip was Montreal in December 2018). When COVID blows over I want to go to Martinique. I remind myself to check out some French-language films soon. I’m open to any recommendations, especially media that focuses on Francophones outside of France, or those from immigrant communities :)
I return to my data entry task. Giving away grants is fun. Tracking dollar amounts and grantee info with excel formulas, less so. I finish up the last of my soup and grilled cheese sandwich and give E. her lunch. I put on the student loan episode of Patriot Act as I eat. I’d truly be wowed if student loan forgiveness actually came to fruition. It’s either somewhat likely or not likely at all, depending on who you ask.
Post-lunch, I’m craving cupcakes bad. Did I mention I have an unrelenting sweet tooth? I look up cupcakes near me and mentally bribe myself with a cupcake order if I get my work done.
evening
My cupcake craving has subsided. I'll see how I'm feeling tomorrow. I normally eat dinner around 7 or 8pm but opt for an early dinner today: my leftover Mongolian Beef and peapod tips in garlic sauce, yum. I ordered Chinese takeout on Sunday. While my rice cooks, I bundle up for a trip to Walgreens. When I'm there I get a big thing of Dawn dish soap, some antibacterial wipes that are on sale, a bag of roasted cashews, a Reese's Fast Break bar, and a small bag of Pirate's Booty ($16.83).
By the time I get back my rice is nearly finished. My sink has some dirty dishes, so I wash those before reheating the Mongolian beef and peapod tips on my stove top. I'm one of those weirdos without a microwave… don't miss it at all though. I dig into my leftovers and reply to a message from D. which is quite imaginative. In the sexual sense ;) D. has a very sensual way with words and as a writer of course I'm into it. I go back for seconds, finishing the rest of my takeout leftovers. After dinner and some more reddit browsing I do my evening shower routine. At 10:30 pm my upstairs neighbor is annoyingly doing jumping jacks (that’s what it sounds like) or something that makes it very hard to focus. Ugh.
TOTAL: $16.83
DAY 3 - Friday
MorningI fell asleep unexpectedly and woke up around 2am. This kind of thing happens a lot. I guess my cat has adapted too, she’s always bugging me for food in the early morning hours. I feed my cat, brush my teeth, crawl back into bed and fall asleep an hour or so later.
I’m up again at 7:30, laying in bed before officially getting up. My mom calls me and I remember I promised to order her a Lyft to work. Her workplace has the COVID vaccine and she’s going to get the first dosage. She mentions that some symptoms are coming back - like shortness of breath, which she didn’t even have the first time - even though she’s been on the mend for the past week and just got the go-ahead from her doctor to work again. After I order my mom the Lyft ($31.46 incl. tip) I indulge in my nasty habit of googling medical stuff. I find an article about a woman who ended up in the hospital unexpectedly, 5 MONTHS after getting symptoms. Cue cortisol levels going up. I also have a work meeting this morning that I’m nervous about, having never led it alone before.
I get out of bed, feed my cat her breakfast + probiotic, take gummy vitamins, and get dressed with a black turtleneck, black jeans, and small hoop earrings. I try to breathe and remind myself that all will be fine. I have a habit of catastrophizing and generally thinking in worst-case scenarios, if that wasn’t already obvious. My meeting ends up going perfectly fine though, and my mom texts me later to say she took the train home (my Dad needed the car for work this morning). She is feeling fine for now. Since I skipped my morning smoothie I make one now with pear, kale, frozen strawberries, almond milk and honey. Eh, I’ve had better. But it’s drinkable.
afternoon
My morning flew! I’m running low on food so for lunch, I throw some crinkle cut fries in the oven. Grab an avocado, red onion, and a roma tomato from the fridge to make a quick guac. I also make a side of sriracha mayo.
Today is payday. It’s my rent paycheck so I’m not as excited tho. While my fries are in the oven I move some money to my Roth IRA. I watch one of my favorite Youtubers, King of Reads, while I eat my lunch. He has an interesting take on Gamestop Gate and basically says, abolish all this stock market shit. I do think there are a lot of evils in American capitalism, which was literally built off the backs of s colonized peoples. Like is this system even for us?
After lunch I get back to work. I also do something I seldom do: order groceries off Instacart. The anxiety of the day has drained me and I don’t feel like lugging a bunch of groceries home. Plus, the store I order from is cheaper than the one closest to me. I get some jasmine rice, a family pack of Nongshim ramen, green onions, carrots, zucchini, sirloin steak, ginger root, yellow onions, chili paste, bell peppers, white mushrooms, yellow squash, bok choy, kombucha, bamboo skewers, grape tomatoes, a bottle of Apothic Red and some hazelnut cookies. Add $10 for tip ($74.48). I do walk to the local grocery store anyway to 1) get some fresh air while it’s still daylight and 2) pick up smoothie ingredients. From there I get a big bag of frozen mixed berries, frozen mango chunks, an avocado, three bananas, almond milk, coconut sparkling water, and a sweet Belgian waffle ($18.15).
Evening
I knock out the last of my work tasks just in time for teletherapy at 5:10. I love my therapist. Been seeing her for going on three years and she’s changed my life. We talk and I feel lighter, remembering the progress I’ve made since I first walked into her office crying in 2018. After we hang up I get an email receipt for the cost, which is accounted for in monthly expenses. I put away my instacart delivery and message a bit more with D. Even though we’re just emailing, I truly enjoy his company. He makes me feel incredibly attractive and soft.
Glass of red wine in one hand, I play with E. for 15 minutes. Despite her age (over 10) she’s spry and will bug the hell out of me to indulge her. I spend the rest of the evening on the couch decompressing with my wine. I do my nightly shower routine but skip the weed because I know it'll make me fall asleep ASAP. Then I fry up the rest of my breakfast for dinner ingredients (minus avocado and egg) and eat them with sriracha.
TOTAL: $124.09
DAY 4 - Saturday
morning
Oops. Fell asleep and woke up at an odd hour. Again. Go brush my teeth and floss. My kitty is very awake and bugging me for attention so I smoke, play with her a bit, and go back to sleep.
Wake up a few hours later. I hear the unmistakable retching of my cat throwing up. Maybe she went too long without food...I mop up the small puddle with paper towels and spray my rug liberally with Nature's Miracle. When I feed E. her breakfast + probiotic she keeps it all down. I take gummy vitamins and get back into bed. From my phone, I go to my local dispensary's website to place an order for pick up, ultimately choosing a strain I've had before that's on sale. I log into my checking account to transfer money to my mom (accounted for in monthly expenses).
Actually get out of bed for real around 9:45am. Scoop E.’s litter box and prepare to get some freelance work done. I make a mango, pear and avocado smoothie with almond milk and honey and sit down to work. Girls plays in the background. I never watched this show when it was popular and was surprised by how funny it is (albeit problematic for a number of reasons).
Afternoon
Snack break! I brew some black tea and have it with the hazelnut cookies I got yesterday. 90 minutes later, once I’m two-thirds through my assignment, I make actual lunch: ramen noodles spruced up with minced garlic and ginger, scallion whites, bok choy, and mushrooms. All topped with scallion greens. Easy and d e l i c i o u s. There’s another snowstorm, urgh. I’m walking to pick up my weed and from my window, it doesn’t look too bad right now. Preorder a Honey Citrus Mint from Starbucks for the long walk ($3.27) and bundle up. It’s an hour round trip but I love walking and don’t really work out so...I take my exercise where I can get it. Stop by the ATM to withdraw cash for flower ($70). On my way back from picking up I indulge in a carrot cake slice from a popular bakery in the area. ($8.13 incl. tip). Okay, I’m set on sweets for awhile. For now :)
Evening
I finally wrap up my freelance assignment and share it with my editor. Shower time. Take a hit from my one hitter and do my nightly routine. Once finished, I change my mind on dinner. I’d originally planned to make a quick "bibimbap" (air quotes because it's very much a knock off) and even steamed rice ahead of time, but carrot cake is sounding good right now. Carrot cake it is! I have some more hazelnut cookies for a well-balanced meal. Give the kitty her dinner and fall asleep with the TV on.
TOTAL: $81.40
DAY 5 - Sunday
Morning
Woke up at an odd hour again. (around 4 am). E. is being a butt once again so I feed her an early breakfast with her probiotic. Brush my teeth, floss, and go back to sleep for a few hours. Get up and out of bed for real around 9:30 and clean up a bit, doing one load of laundry and vacuuming my rug and floors. I finally cook and eat the bibimbap meant for yesterday (minus the egg). I have a virtual date with a college friend I haven’t spoken to in a while, so we spend a few hours catching up! My friendship with her is ever-evolving. She was someone I put on a pedestal for a long time, until she disappointed me when I really needed her and hurt me deeply. I’ve worked to let go of that resentment and remind myself that 1) she is very much human, 2) she is not a better person than I am and 3) I can’t expect everyone to have the same heart that I have. Tough but necessary lessons to learn.
Afternoon
I really should deep clean E’s litter box today but ehhhh, not feeling it. I clean my bathtub, bathroom sink and mirror instead and wipe down some surfaces. I also sip some red wine blended with frozen strawberries (10/10, would recommend!) and start meal prepping for later. I’m making suya - West African meat skewers - so I thinly slice my sirloin steak while it’s semi-frozen and refrigerate the rest to fully defrost. I also chop up more garlic, ginger, bok choy, mushrooms, and scallions for ramen later. I know I’m going to get high very soon and won’t want to do too much, so I’m doing what future high-me will thank me for. Light an oudh incense stick, reply to a message from D., and submit my $250 invoice for freelance work. Put food out for E.
The snow is still pouring in from yesterday. Maybe we’ll get those 10 inches of snow after all. I smoke a bit and cook the same ramen as yesterday but add a fried egg and some sesame oil. I inhale the whole thing and drink all the broth, either it's really this amazing or I'm just stoned. For dessert, I brew black tea and have it with the rest of my hazelnut cookies.
evening
Shower routine time! As much as I hate cleaning the bathtub, that first shower afterwards is the best. Wash my hair with Aussie Moist conditioner (I keep my hair very short and cut it myself) and moisturize with copious coconut oil. Listen to one of my favorite podcasts while in the shower, Say Your Mind with Kelechi Okafor. I love listening to her and her brother’s banter, it feels like I'm among friends.
I've been eating throughout the day so I'm not too hungry come dinner time. I have some crinkle cut fries with sriracha mayo and crack open a kombucha. Rewatch more old episodes of Girls. Why is Adam Driver so attractive to me, even if his character on the show is awful (they're all awful, really)?
TOTAL: $0
Day 6 - Monday
morning
Odd sleep hours strike again! I should mention that I also brush my teeth while I’m in the shower, lest you think I brush once a day only :) Take gummy vitamins and give my nagging E. her early morning meal after playing with her a bit. Scroll on Reddit until I fall back asleep.
Get up and start the day for real at 8:40. Clean a few dirty dishes from last night and give E. breakfast, round #2 with her probiotic. Brush my teeth moisturize my hair, and choose an oatmeal, knee-length knit dress to wear with small hoop earrings. I make a smoothie with a navel orange, some frozen strawberries, frozen banana that I almost forgot about, and almond milk. It’s February now. Happy Black History/Present/Future Month. February is actually one of my least favorite months but after the January I’ve had, I’m ready to move on swiftly. E. is fascinated by all the snowblowing that our neighbors do outside the window. Chicago hasn’t been hit this hard with snow in 5 years - 9 inches!
This is a very slow morning, work wise. Snack on cashews. Work on some excel data and open a tab for Girl Scout Cookies. It’s that seasonnnn. Note that there’s a four box minimum to get cookies. I’ll save my cookie order for next week.
afternoon
The sunlight is giving me life today. I’m getting my Vitamin D through the window, though a walk to the beach sounds lovely. After doing a bit more work, it’s lunch time. I steam some jasmine rice and fry carrots, zucchini, mushrooms, bok choy, and scallion whites in soy sauce and chili paste for my knockoff bibimbap. With an egg this time. Then I decide to bundle up and walk to the beach for additional vitamin D. I only live five minutes away :) . The sand and shoreline are all covered in snow but peaceful nonetheless. I've actually never been to the beach in the dead of winter before. God, I love Lake Michigan. Never understood the hype around oceans, especially because you can't drink the water. Have my phone check in with my boss. Message a bit with D. and round up my tasks for the day.
evening
D. encouraged me to follow my impulses and order the greasy pizza I’m craving right now. But I have food in the fridge. Sigh. Cut up my veggies and season them for veggie kabobs to go with the suya, which has marinated in a spice rub. Put the veggies and meat on skewer sticks and put it all in the oven. It comes out…okay-ish. The meat is a bit overdone and not as flavorful as I'd hoped. Not terrible for a first try, I suppose. Eat two veggie kabobs and two suya sticks. Fall down the Reddit rabbithole for way too damn long. Also check on my mom and how she's doing. She said she's okay now, taking things one day at a time. Feed the kitty her dinner. Do my nighttime routine (including brushing my teeth) and snuggle in bed to watch more Girls. Snack on graham crackers since I have no other sweets or candy handy.
TOTAL: $0
Day 7 - Tuesday
morningMe and my fucked up sleep schedule. No judgment, plz. Wake up at an odd hour again, brush my teeth, feed the cat, smoke a bit, and go back asleep.
My mom calls me at 8 to tell me she might need me to call her a Lyft again - this is not a typical nor regular expense btw - because she has one of her work trainings and my Dad took the car for work. She asks if I still want to go to Nigeria this summer since she’s about to get tickets. IDK! I’m not comfortable traveling internationally...but my Nigerian passport also expires this year and it was a huge pain in the ass to get it in the first place. I enjoy visiting, though I always have a lot of personal shit to navigate while there. Being part of a diaspora is complicated.
Also wake up to a steamy message from D. Steamy enough for me to get myself off, truly the best way to start any morning. My period has started...fun. I was expecting it though. Feed E. her breakfast with a probiotic, take gummy vitamins, brush my teeth, moisturize hair, and get dressed in a grey turtleneck, black Adidas soccer pants, and gold hoop earrings. Blend frozen mango chunks, a small banana, greek yogurt and almond milk into a smoothie. I also brew a cup of lemon tea. Pop two ibuprofen and start my work day with a staff meeting.
afternoon
Light a candle and keep working! Ok, I actually break for a few YouTube videos, one from MelinaPendulum about the Sex And the City reboot. To sum it up: why do one?? What’s the point if Samantha isn’t even coming back? I put out E.’s lunch. I also steam some jasmine rice to eat with the suya and veggie kabobs from last night. Damn I wish I had some steak sauce. Oh well. Eat lunch and call a Lyft for my mom. ($25.99, incl. tip). Work with more Sex and the City in the background.
EveningThe work day has ended and I am desperately in need of snacks! I load $10 on my Starbucks app and then decide to not get anything. I planned to fuck up some hot chocolate but the way my cramps are fading and coming back, it’s best to stay away from a drink with 57 grams of sugar. Pick up some Lysol wipes, a bottle of club soda, Fig Newtons, Ritz Crackers to go with the block of cheese in my fridge, a Reese’s Fast Break bar, and some Haribo Happy Cola gummies. ($11.69)
Get home, pour a small glass of Apothic Red and play with E. for a little bit. Then go down another Reddit rabbithole before making my dinner - ramen, minus the egg. Still delicious! Message D. for a bit and do my shower routine. I did not read very much this week, maybe it’s a testament to me not liking my book that much? Hmmm....my neighbor starts his incredibly annoying exercise routine and I fall asleep waiting for it to stop.
TOTAL: $47.68
--
GRAND TOTAL = $274.60
Food + Drink = $133.37
Fun / Entertainment = $70
Home + Health = $13.78
Other = $57.45
All in all, this was an unsurprising week, especially since I’m already in the habit of tracking expenses daily. The two atypical things were the Lyft rides for my mom - an infrequent occurrence - and my weed purchase, which happens once monthly. I suppose I could have included that in my monthly expenses. Please don’t roast me for my sleep schedule! I know issa mess. Also, I feed my cat four times a day in case that’s unclear.
Edit: Any and every time I left my home I wore a mask and then washed my hands thoroughly upon return.
submitted by The first four parts of this series covered Nottingham Forest, Notts County, Derby County/Leeds United, and Stoke City. This episode in English Football Drama is going national. After four episodes diving into the circus that is Midlands football, we turn our attentions to England's national football team. This episode will focus on the 21st century up until about the 2010 World Cup, as the 'Golden Generation' of young English talent failed to achieve for country the glories that so many of them achieve for their club. There will be a bigger focus on off-the-pitch stories and tabloid scandals here, although obviously football is central. In the era before the general sanitisation of the English tabloid press, players on the national team were up there with the royal family for gossip reporting and red-top scandals. And scandals they provided. Background English football had something of a renaissance in the 1990s. It ceased to be a violence-ridden sport predominantly enjoy by white working class men and became a national game in the true sense.
After the glory of winning the World Cup for the home crowd at Wembley in 1966 against the Germans, England's footballing fortunes took a nosedive. England did not qualify for the 1974 or 1978 World Cups at a time when English clubs were dominant in Europe (all European Cups from 1977-82 were won by English sides, while Leeds would have likely won in 1975 if not for some incredibly suspect refereeing at a time when bribing the officials wasn't unheard of) and the national team stagnated. Performances picked up in the 1980s, but the most notable moment for the national side in this decade was a certain Diego Maradona cementing an increasingly bitter rivalry with the Hand of God in 1986.
Off the pitch, hooliganism, often called the 'English Disease', blighted the reputation of the game at home and abroad. The socially turbulent 1970s-80s created a violent subculture at the underbelly of the sport, arguably fuelled by media sensationalism, and earnt English football supporters a terrible reputation when they supported club or country in European football competitions. The darkest moment came at the 1985 European Cup final when 39 supporters of Italian side Juventus died in a stadium collapse caused when the crowd sought to flee rioting Liverpool supporters. While there were other factors at play, the horrific scene was too much and all English clubs were banned from European football until 1990. England's participation in the 1988 European Football Championship in West Germany was like a candle which drew in the unsavoury elements of English club support and there was widespread violence between English and German hooligans around the competition.
So, in 1990 a fairly unpleasant situation? What changed?
At home measures such as the general adoption of all-seater stadiums and corresponding ticket price increases killed off much of the old 'terrace culture' around clubs. The government had made it possible to ban convicted hooligans from attending any match and in some cases from leaving the country during a major international tournament. The issue was good optics for Margaret Thatcher and her general commitment in government to the traditional safe Tory issue of law and order.
The 1990 World Cup in Italy was the start of football's image change. England did better than usual, making it to the semi-final before what would become a highly common event. Losing penalties to Germany. Their success and the resonance of Paul Gascoigne
crying on the pitch owing to his sheer pashun took football to a wider audience.
But in 1996, football
came home. England hosted Euro 96 and a famous song by comedians David Baddiel and Frank Skinner epitomised the optimism of football's home nation during the festival-like competition with a sentimental nod to 'Thirty Years of Hurt' since 1966, the year that has weighed down England ever since. But above all, it showed supporting England as a thing that normal and respectable people did. The awarding of the competition to England was a major sign from world football that the 'bad old days' were over, and the competition went ahead in a positive atmosphere. There was just one small hitch, once again involving a penalty shoot out against Germany as England once again lost in that accursed format.
Things weren't perfect by the end of the decade and some of the old problems persisted. A 1995 friendly against Ireland in Dublin was abandoned owing to a riot by a group of English hooligans affiliated to various far-right organisations, and there was trouble at both the 1998 World Cup and Euro 00. But it was a far cry from previous decades, and there was a new optimism in the air about the English national team.
The Golden Generation At the turn of the century, England had a huge amount of young and promising talent who would surely end the pain and bring the World Cup home once again. Players who would go onto become legends for their clubs such as right midfielder David Beckham, centre forward Michael Owen, central midfielder Steven Gerrard, and centre half Rio Ferdinand had all come of age. Manchester United's 1999 Champions League win was the first one for an English side since Liverpool in 1984, and it signalled a return to Europe's top competitions for English sides.
What better to signal a new era than by absolutely stuffing the main rivals? After the 1966 World Cup final, penalty agony in 1990 and 1996 and various other historical events, Germany became the team English fans wanted to beat the most. The tabloids revelled in the rivalry with their
diplomatic headlines and terrace classics such as 'Ten German Bombers' and 'Two World Wars and One World Cup' remained commonplace. For their part, German fans tend to regard the Netherlands as their primary football rival.
And stuff them they did. In a World Cup qualifier in Munich in 2001, Germany suffered their first ever home loss in a World Cup qualifier as England
beat them 5-1. This was a massive vindication of England's young side and the new manager Sven Goran Erikkson, who had received some scepticism as England's first foreign manager. German fans consoled themselves with
the Dutch failure to qualify for the 2002 World Cup, but it marked a new era for England.
The side that humbled Germany included the core of the 'Golden Generation' with Gary Neville, Ashley Cole, Steven Gerrard, Rio Ferdinand, Sol Campbell, David Beckham, Paul Scholes, Emile Heskey, Michael Owen, and Jamie Carragher all appearing.
The CEO of the Football Association, Adam Crozier, publicly described this cohort as the 'Golden Generation' who would go on to do for England what many of them were already doing for their clubs.
Japan 2002 England qualified for the 2002 World Cup in Japan in true fashion, with a
David Beckham free kick past Greece putting England through. David Beckham had rapidly become the poster boy for the Golden Generation owing to his skill with free kicks and his glamorous appearance and personal life, including being married to the famous pop star Victoria Beckham, known as 'Posh Spice' in the Spice Girls.
Quick stop off for the first affair to be dragged through the tabloids on the way to Japan. In the spring of 2002, it turned out that Anglo-Swedish TV presenter Ulrika Jonsson had been
having an affair with Sven. The News of the World (Britain's premier sleaze rag/newspaper, known as the News of the Screws in satirical magazine Private Eye or if you're my great-granddad, as the Whore's Gazette) absolutely loved a bit of sleaze. So much, in fact, they gave
Ulrika a column for the next four years so she could launch the odd diatribe at Sven and his unconventional personal life.
Sven was bullish about England's chances in 2002, in a formula which would become predictable, he expected that
this year would be the year.
To be fair, it started well. A group stage tie with Argentina gave England a chance to give a bloody nose to another rival. Owing to the 1982 Falklands War and Diego Maradona's 'Hand of God' in 1986, Argentina normally sits 3rd in the list of international footballing rivalries after Germany and Scotland. I remember as a fairly young child my parents explaining to me that the Argies were a 'dirty' side after the Hand of God and an acrimonious game in the 1998 World Cup and that beating them was pretty much essential. So, it was to relief all round when David Beckham scored from a penalty.
Draws with Sweden and Nigeria took England into the Round of 16, amusingly at the expense of Argentina who were 2002's shock group stage exit. England brushed Denmark aside 3-0 to set themselves up for a quarter final tie with the favourites and eventual champions, Brazil.
Was this to be England's year? Victory against Brazil would likely assure playing Germany in the final given the probability of beating Senegal or Turkey in the semi-final (so goes the England fan's logic) and we would doubtless give Jerry another pasting to make it Two World Wars and Two World Cups. The nation was abuzz. I willingly went to school early to watch it on the projector, the only time I've ever turned up a minute early of my own free will.
And Brazil won. Well, they were going to, weren't they? A good Michael Owen goal set England up for a 1-0 win and dreams of glory in Tokyo, but Messrs Ronaldo and Rivaldo put two past David Seaman to knock England out.
The circular firing squad and media postmortem was mysteriously absent. Brazil had some truly sublime talents, and surely a young side would come good and win it next time, wouldn't they?
The Road to Euro 04 A few distractions to get through before we get into the meat of England's next footballing failure. In late 2003 England played a friendly against Australia which was notable for two things. England were roundly beaten by Australia, a nation with whom England has fierce cricket and rugby rivalries but doesn't generally register in football, to echoes of condemnation. And a young Wayne Rooney became the youngest player to ever play for England, aged just 17. More on him later.
England's qualification for Euro 04 was generally uneventful, except for a shock draw to Macedonia, involving this
filthy banger direct from a corner.
Rio Ferdinand managed to get an eight month ban from football by
missing a drugs test. This was a blow as it removed one of Sven's two preferred centre halves from the squad. It also removed one of the main drama generators, a man who had gained notoriety in
2000, when Channel 4 aired a sex tape featuring him and fellow internationals Kieron Dyer and Frank Lampard filmed on holiday in Cyprus. Fortunately for us, his ban allowed an even more sublime drama king to take centre stage. Enter John Terry. Another new appearance was Chelsea teammate Wayne Bridge. More on them later.
Penalties, again? Euro 04 started strong with an early goal from Frank Lampard against France. France, despite being England's rivals of choice in most fields, is not an especially strong football rivalry. The idea of France as a major footballing nation is relatively new and as far as football goes there isn't any real bad blood. Even Zinedine Zidane's injury time equaliser and winner didn't create any lasting resentment.
Comfortable wins over Switzerland and Croatia put England 2nd in the group and set them up for a draw against host nation Portugal. Of course, Portugal had their own wonderkid as the world was introduced to a certain Cristiano Ronaldo. The two sides drew 2-2 after extra time and the dreaded penalties loomed. Fear not, for dead-ball specialist David Beckham stepped up to the mark for his country.
Well. Beckham joined Stuart 'Psycho' Pearce and Gareth Southgate in the list of players who gained notoriety for fluffing a penalty.
Sven started to come under criticism in the tabloids for his failure to deliver the goods. He came under more criticism when he, once again,
couldn't keep it in his trousers, starting a proud tradition for the Golden Generation to become better known for tabloid gossip.
Young Rooney started strong as well, as it turned out that
he had shagged a granny in a Liverpool brothel. Hopes of an incognito quickie with a lady of the night were dashed when a group of Everton fans (Rooney's then-club and boyhood team) found out and started chanting his name outside when he was doing the dirty.
At about this time, Ashley Cole began a relationship with the professional Geordie and pop star Cheryl Tweedy, a saga which would keep the News of the Screws engaged for some years.
Possibly the only bad thing about that sordid rag going under in 2011 is that I'm having a hell of a time finding the original news articles for this write up.
The Old Enemy Beckons The 2006 World Cup is now on the horizon. And who is hosting it, other than Germany? What a coup it would be for the boys and England's national pride for, in a story lifted from a campy 1950s war film, our plucky boys to parachute in Berlin and win the World Cup from right under Fritz's nose?
Well, if they could get there. Northern Ireland, traditionally footballing minnows, beat England 1-0 in a qualifier. This was Sven's first defeat in a qualifier but the tabloids attacked his playing style and, being a Swede, the lack of pashun and dersiah that a redblooded Englishman would have. England did qualify with a match to spare, so surely it would be a smooth ride to Germany and for our plucky heroes to take on the Hun and win?
Like fuck it would. Sven managed to get into the tabloids
again. At the time, the News of the Screws employed an undercover journalist who specialised in 'sting' stories aimed at prominent figures. Mazher Mahmood was popularly known as the 'Fake Sheikh' owing to his tendency to masquerade as an Arab oil sheikh. He approached Sven as an Arab businessman hoping to invest in English football, and Sven seemingly said told Mahmood to buy Aston Villa (a respectable Premier League side from Birmingham) as he hoped to take the Villa job after the 2006 World Cup and bring David Beckham in from Real Madrid to be his captain. The imbroglio fatally undermined Sven, who was forced to
announce a resignation effective after the World Cup. Essentially working through his notice period, it isn't hard to see what impact on the squad that might have.
England turned up in Germany, and the tabloid media brought its legendary tact and diplomacy. England fans made
no reference to past historic events before matches. Songs like this were condemned in the respectable press which saw them as crass chants from drunken shirtless louts, but many football fans see these chants as lighthearted banter.
On the pitch England beat Paraguay and Trinidad in the group stages before another turgid draw with Sweden, putting England through to the Round of 16 at the top of their group.
Sven began to deviate from the traditional 442 formation, using Rooney up front alone and playing a third man in central midfield, usually Michael Carrick. We'll talk a little more about the significance of 442 in a bit.
A 1-0 win over Ecuador set England up for another quarter-final tie, this time against Portugal, who had knocked them out on penalties in 2004.
Surely England wouldn't be knocked out on penalties by Portugal again would they? Curses aren't real surely?
A 0-0 snooze fest led to the inevitable. And the inevitable happened. England's players missed
three penalties. This was now becoming a serious mental block, with England going out of the 1990, 1998, and 2006 World Cups on penalties as well as Euro 96 and 04.
It wasn't Sven's problem now. As agreed with the FA, he left the role thereafter. But who could replace him?
The Wally with a Brolly After the pashunless Sven, it was time to get a proper Englishman back in charge. Enter Steve McClaren. McClaren had proper club pedigree, taking Middlesbrough to a UEFA Cup Final in 2006 after winning a League Cup in 2004.
His first media scandal came when the News of the Screws claimed Ashley Cole had taken part in a homosexual orgy. They
settled out of court and retracted the stories but this was just another time in which the tabloid press pursued sensational stories about members of the England team.
McClaren gave John Terry the captaincy and dropped David Beckham from his line ups. There was a period of poor form in which England scored once in five matches, followed by when he told a press conference they could write what they wanted after a lacklustre win over Andorra because he wasn't going to
say anything else. McClaren recalled David Beckham and form picked up once again. It wasn't enough though, as England lost against Russia before the final gameday of the qualification cycle for Euro 08. This meant that England had to avoid defeat against Croatia, who obligingly beat England 3-2 at Wembley while Russia took 2nd place with a win over minnows Andorra. This was the first time in 24 years that England had not qualified for a European Championship.
The Daily Mail's headline the next day became one of those legendary headlines that goes down in a country's collective pop-culture memory.
The Wally with a Brolly epitomised what was then the shortest ever tenure in the England job.
Who could possibly prepare the club for the 2010 World Cup after a period sat on the sidelines of international football?
Enter Fabio Fabio Cappello was another foreign hiring. He was widely welcomed in the English press as a notorious disciplinarian who could curb the excesses allowed under the relaxed Sven and the disastrous McClaren.
Fabio rigidly played 442 football. In England, 442 is more than a football formation, it is a way of life. 442 means standing up for traditional no-nonsense English values like work ethic, pluck, and willingness to die for the team over fancy foreigners with their poncy passing skills. This initially endeared him to the press, which demanded nothing more than the most patriotic form of football involved.
Capello saw Beckham dropped once again for his initial set of friendly matches. In goal he started to play David 'Calamity' James, who was perhaps unfairly scapegoated for being a somewhat eccentric keeper prone to errors.
In the 2010 qualification group, England did very well. They comfortably qualified, including with a win over Germany to keep the fans happy, and everyone looked forward to watching England bring it home from the first ever African World Cup.
But first, an interlude for the biggest of the tabloid shitstorms.
Viva John Terry In January 2010 a certain individual successfully placed a 'Superinjunction' preventing details of an extra-marital affairs being published. The existence of the injunction was also not to be revealed.
Another judge overruled this and the News of the Screws was free to report the information it had. Namely, John Terry had an affair with the partner of Wayne Bridge, former Chelsea teammate and current England teammate. Wayne Bridge in the end wasn't involved in the 2010 World Cup, but many were naturally shocked a captain would do something like this to a team member.
At the time there was a prominent scandal around the use of 'injunctions' by high profile people exploiting England's lax law on these issues, and John Terry was merely one of several.
In any case, the News of the Screws
ended up apologising to the woman involved, in a fairly remarkable move which in hindsight was an early indication of the radical shifts in the tabloid press during the early 10s.
John Terry was stripped of the captaincy for the first time and replaced with Rio Ferdinand for the upcoming World Cup.
Germany, again? It started so well. England was put into a relatively soft group on paper and were the clear favourites.
The Sun's legendary tact once again.
Match number one of 'HMS Piss the Group' was against the USA. Again, not really a footballing nation, the expectation of an easy win was high. It started well with an early goal from Steven Gerrard before a goalkeeping error etched into my mind today.
Rob Green mishandled a save, giving Clint Dempsey a goal. A frustrating 0-0 draw with Algeria indicated something was going wrong.
Were England about to be knocked out of an allegedly soft group? Fortunately a goal against Slovenia rescued it, but England finished 2nd in the group behind the USA, leading to a Round of 16 tie against Germany.
Once again, the red tops employed their legendary diplomacy Did it go to penalties? No, but don't breathe a sigh of relief yet.
England got stuffed 4-1. Properly stuffed. The only consolation was that an obvious Frank Lampard goal was not awarded because the linesman didn't see it properly. In the days before VAR it really was that rudimentary. The reason this mattered was because England had been awarded a similarly controversial goal in the 1966 World Cup final, many Germans reassured themselves knowing that it could have gone so differently if Hurst's 2nd goal hadn't been allowed. At least they were now even on the controversial crossbar goal count.
Was this a consolation to the press?
Of course not Once again, the red tops hounded a squad who had failed to live up to the increasingly lofty expectations.
But at least Wayne Rooney got one more romp in the tabloids out, as it turned out he had paid hush money to a high-class escort he had been 'seeing'.
Viva John Terry 2 Fabio quietly gave John Terry the captaincy back. He still had one shitstorm left in him. And it was ugly. He was accused of calling Anton Ferdinand, brother of Rio, a 'fucking black cunt' during a game between Chelsea and West London neighbours Queen's Park Rangers. After being charged by police for using racist language, Terry was once again stripped of the England captaincy, which went to Steven Gerrard.
Fabio, who had come under heavy fire after the 2010 World Cup, resigned over this. He didn't want to take the captaincy from John Terry but the FA forced his hand and he left the role in early 2012.
John Terry was actually acquitted of racially abusing Anton Ferdinand in a criminal trial, but an FA hearing found him guilty and punished him with a fairly short ban. This was controversial because of the different standards of proof. A conviction in English criminal courts needs proof 'beyond reasonable doubt', whereas the FA hearing used civil rules where guilt is based on the balance of probabilities. Terry apologised for his language, but he retained the Chelsea captaincy and never directly apologised to Anton.
Epilogue With Fabio's departure the classic 'Golden Generation' era ended, even though players like Gerrard and Lampard still turned out for England. In the interests of time and length I shall give a summary until about 2016 before wrapping up.
Roy Hodgson managed England from 2012-6. England were eliminated in the group stage of the 2014 World Cup after losing to Uruguay and Italy and drawing to Costa Rica. Ironically Italy, the other team expected to go to the knockouts, was the other eliminated side. This was a bigger trauma than 2010, although massive changes in journalism (such as the News of the Screws closing down and far stricter regulation) meant that there was less of the constant tabloid coverage of the fallout.
2016 saw a decent showing in Euro 16, but once again the media got cocky before a tie against a theoretically weaker side only for England to get knocked out by them. Bravo Iceland.
Sam Allardyce replaced Roy Hodgson and lasted a grand total of two months before being caught telling undercover journalists how to get around various financial rules in football before criticising previous managers and some of his players.
Finally, Gareth Southgate came and has seemingly reinvented the side, making it to the semi-finals in 2018. But at least it wasn't penalties then.
Why did the Golden Generation Fail? On paper they should have been at the top of the game. Pep Guardiola compared them to the Spanish flowering of talent which led to their 2010 World Cup win. There are a few factors here.
- The team's philosophy didn't really work. There was never a coherent playing style for the national team which players would be selected around or moulded into. Rather, managers tended to make systems work around players even if they didn't gel well.
- Rivalries in the squad. It probably reflects on English football well that there are several top end teams who compete for titles and European qualification, rather than the perhaps less exciting one club dominance of Germany and Italy or the duopolies of Scotland and Spain. But, Gerrard and Lampard seemed to struggle when paired and their club rivalries may have played a part. The bulk of the squad came from three clubs, Manchester United, Liverpool, and Chelsea who all won Champion's League honours at some point in the early 21st century and regularly competed for titles and domestic cups. Could they switch off the rivalries when on national duty?
- Finally, the press. We have gone through the tabloid obsession with these footballers and their personal lives. We have also discussed the cycle of bullishness followed by anger which follows the inevitable defeats. Is it unreasonable for a young adult to find these pressures too much? Probably not. Above all, it is hard to escape how much better England appear to play now that the press is less hostile towards the side, that their manager is a more nurturing figure, and that the sleazy red tops have either gone the way of the dodo (News of the Screws) or been forced to fundamentally change their approach in response to heightened regulation and changing social mores.
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So I logically asked him why he didn’t have his own account, and he wouldn’t cut me a straight answer. Then he asked for it through BitCoin or gift card. I then deleted this guys and have blocked him. Damn shame he was likely lying through his teeth. Takes advantage of true charity. Probably a scam network he was apart of because at one point he switched the story from giveaway to loan agreement.
Ugh... Watch out everyone.
NB: He was telling me he’d quit scamming, and go get a real job in construction, but I am doubtful once he mentioned he wanted the CashApp money sent to a buddy. Especially because earlier he said no friend or relative could give him a ride to an area where he could find work.
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