Things have been busy so, I apologize for the delay. I know lots of you love these stories.
Last Friday night...Yeah, I think we broke the law...Always say we're gonna stop, whoa Friday, or in the alternative: What part of call me was not clear?
I get to my desk at the usual time and deal with the usual bullshit. I got a SCAR 16s here on consignment because a customer of mine bought them from dealers that were less than reputable and lied about the condition of/country of origin of their merchandise. And they swapped sku's and other bullshit gun dealer things.
Trying to be a nice guy, I can charge the guy to box and ship everything back or roll them at top dollar and give him a big stack of blue stripe benjamins. I tell him I'll try and sell them for him and take my cut off the top so we're both making money. He thinks this is a great idea and manages to line up a buyer on his own. I just need to do the 4473 and cut him a check. No big deal, I don't have a problem doing a little extra work for him versus the standard dealer to customer transfer. The guy he sold it to is a semi regular customer of mine and he comes in, bangs out the 4473 and it's about a 90 minute wait on transaction time.
No big deal. Instead of packing up for the gun show, I'm selling other peoples guns. I'll pack up for the gun show tonight and get everything ready when I get home. I need to be up super early and on the road.
I get everything squared off, customer comes in to get his money and drops off
ANOTHER SCAR 16s to sell because the dealer pulled a con job. Okay, I can haul it to the show in the AM. I have a SCAR 16s in FDE from him. I have a 5.7 in FDE on the arm from a buddy of mine and a 509 FDE. I'll make a package deal, FDE FN Friday all FN time. Things are looking up!
I clear off all the 4473's for the week and do an audit and I'm down about 75% inventory wise from last year. Things are tight but stuff is trickling in in drips and drabs. Hit the chickfila on my way home for a sandwich and milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard. I'm done eating and getting ready to leave when I get the call.
ring ring FC: go for FC
1: Mr Hayden sir, can I ask a favor of you?
FC: What up?
1: Got a guy who wants my scar 16 lined up but he has to pay on a credit card. Can you run it for me? You can take a card and cut me a check?
(It's 7PM on a friday night. I still need to pack for the show. By the time I get back it will be 9PM and I still need to shower and get a decent nights sleep. I'm a glutton for punishment)
FC: If you want to get it done tonight, have the guy call me. I'm eating dinner now and I'll head back if he calls me.
1: roger that, I'll pass along your info right now and let him know.
I do a few more emails from the laptop and say hi to the chickfila owner who was friends with my dad and buys guns from me. We chat for a bit and my phone does not ring. Now, gentle readers - I offered to head back at 730PM on a friday to get something done for someone as a favor to them. That should be worthy of "holy shit you are the man for coming back on your own time!" but this was not the case. No phone call means I didn't head back.
I head home, no phone call. Phone about to die. Plug it in and go into my garage and get all my gun show stuff sorted and loaded and organized. My normal display is 3 tables of merchandise stacked and racked on 2 tables. This show it's 1.5 tables of merchandise stretched out on 2 tables. Not good. My back is killing me. I get some ibuprofen and take a hot shower. Grab my phone off the charger. Bunch of missed calls, one email one VM. I return the VM.
1: Hey you must be having a good dinner at chickfila, we've been waiting here in the parking lot for the last hour!
FC: You have? Well, I didn't get a phone call. I'm home and in pajamas.
1: What? He didn't call you?
FC: Nope
1: HEY! YOU DIDN'T CALL HIM? Oh he says he just figured......
FC: No phone call means no turning around to go back to work. We'll deal with it next week.
1: Okay I'll tell him.
I'm a pretty easy to get along with guy. If you ask me a favor, I'll likely do it if it does not interfere with my life too badly. But if you ask me for a favor and you can't follow simple instructions, well then you're wasting your own time. That's no skin off my hide. Failure to follow simple directions on your part does not warrant my bad back bending over backwards to make it right. I climb into bed, I have to be up at 5AM to tank up at the truck stop, grab breakfast on the run and get to this show on the road.
Saturday, in the park. I think it was the fourth of july. People dancing, people laughing. A man selling ice cream. Singing Italian songs.... Showtime Saturday.
My back is stiffer than I'd like. I get down to the show and get loaded in and everything is set up looking spiffy. Not in my normal spot right by the loading dock, much to my chagrin. There's a line that's 1/4 mile long to get into the building. This shit is looking crazy.
Here's the deal, folks. The 4473 isn't hard. It does require attention to detail. Being in therapy with Dr Kaplan, I've learned a few things.
Old FC: Here's the clipboard, call me when you're done.
New FC: Here's the form, I'm guessing you haven't filled this out before. Start on line 9, read this carefully, 18A and 18B are two separate questions that both require answers, 21 L 2 is tricky, you need to read it ALL THE WAY TO THE END before you answer. Sign on 22, today's date on 23. STOP THERE.
With the new spiel, of the 7 forms I was handed on Saturday before noon - guess how many were filled out correctly? I'll make a break here to talk about the bullshit I had to do.
Show Hustler #1: I had a consignment mossberg built in new haven pre 1968. A guy wants to buy it and he's friends with Ray Dalio. Yes, the Ray Dalio. He tries getting me to knock $100 off but I tell him he's nuts. If he's FRIENDS WITH A BILLIONAIRE and lives in GREENWICH fucking Connecticut, you can pay my very fair asking price of about $350 on it. He relents and I give him a small discount and I give him the clipboard.
Show Hustler #2: I got a guy wanting to trade me a 44 Mag Black Desert Eagle for a Colt 1911 I have on the table. Prices are about the same. I tell him I'm not doing the work of selling two guns for the profit of one gun. He tells me I'm not selling two guns, I'm trading one and selling one. That's selling one gun! I explain two entries in my A/D book means I sell two guns, and it's easier for me to sell a NIB Colt than it is for me to sell a used Desert Eagle. Well the DE isn't used! It's unfired! It's brand new! If I didn't get it from a wholesaler, it's used. He says for me to think about it and he'll be at the show. I tell him I thought about it. He says yeah, ready to do an even trade? I say no, now I want your gun plus $1000. He calls me a clown and walks away.
Show Hustler #3: Over the road truck driver wants the FN 5.7 in FDE I have on consignment. Asks for a truck driver discount. He wants it for $1200. I've got it tagged at $1350. I tell him if he can fill out the form straight, no errors I write it at 1200. If there's an error, I write it for $1350. He says he just bought a brand new freightliner cascadia and money is tight. I tell him well we got a bet or what? He nods, I book the action.
Show Hustler #4: Guy wants my 509C. He wants to trade me for a NIB glock even up. I tell him there's no money to be made and selling a used glock gets me less money. BUT ITS NOT USED! ITS BRAND NEW! We go back and forth 9 times about how new does not mean what he thinks it means. I offer him $350 on his trade as credit knowing that $650 on a used glock in 45ACP is all the money right now. He calls me a cocksucker and walks away.
Okay, so 7 form 4473's with an explanation as to all the problem areas before noon on Saturday.....how many were filled out correctly?
If you answered zero, you are right! That means I won the 4473 bet. The 5.7 goes out at top dollar. Winner winner chicken dinner!
I head home and count my money. I need 9 more shows like this and I might finally be able to retire. On the way home I check web orders. Three guys in arkansas have ordered $900 22LR off my website at $150 a brick. I joke about my stash of 22LR being a brand new F350 platinum but at $150/brick that's rapidly becoming a reality.
Sunday, Bloody Sunday Sunday is day 2 of the show. I stop at a local diner and grab corned beef hash and a short stack of pancakes for breakfast. Want to know how good a diner is? If there's real butter with the pancakes and not that bullshit country crock/margarine spread, you know things will be good.
There's butter. It's good.
A very nice Sig 229 in stainless in 9mm comes by from a guy who did business with me years ago. He traded me a Wilson CQB pistol for a Sig 226 and a Springfield Range Officer even up. I had maybe $1600 into that Wilson, I sold it for $2500 a few months later and tucked the money away. When my brother got married, our fucking gigantic family got together the night before the wedding and had dinner. I told him I'd cover it and he's like "are you sure?" and I said, how bad could it be? Not realizing his wife's family is a bunch of hungry alcoholics from cape cod who have never seen an open bar before and are total gluttons when someone else is buying. As it turns out, $2500 covered about half of the F&B, but he seemed appreciative.
Anyhow.
I sell nothing at the show all day and talk with the other dealers and swap stupid customer stories. I pack and head home and I've sold a good bit of stuff of mine and consignments. As I'm making my way out of the building, the wheel comes off the wagon.
This is not a euphemism.
https://imgur.com/a/KY5vLCl I pay off all my friends for their sales, and in the zelle memo field, I break down the transactions as such:
$69.69 - Anal Hook
$350 - Loch Ness Monster Poster
(whatever the balance was after bullshit, I can't remember) - this is from your real dad
I have lots of fun at this job sometimes.
It's just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. 'Cause that's my fun day. Monday morning I get an email from the fellow who spent his friday night in the parking lot waiting for me. His email address leads me to believe he spent some time at Parris Island or San Diego, because who else uses semper fi in an email address name? He says he can be in after work at 1645 hours sharp and is just down the road. I tell him I'll get everything squared away for him, and I prep the 4473's on a clipboard and get everything set up.
Cleaning up files from the show, closing out 4473's. Down to 249 items in stock. 150 of them are lowers. This is not good. Must strike while irons are hot though. Gotta shear all the sheep while the wool is ready to harvest and prices are high. I have a bunch of personal ammo that will hit the market one POTUS says something stupid. That's not an if, that's a when.
Bunch of phone calls from people seeking 380 and cheap 9mm. I do my best charles bronson impression. "No dice." The emails accusing me of price gouging are fantastic. There's some other idiocy too. I won't post the whole ones but here's a few snippets from the butthurt and the unprepared as well as the idiotic.
I’m just looking for fmj for target practice. Nothing fancy. If you could do them for $400 a case of 1000 I can talk.
FC: I can get you $400/case on 1000 but it'll be foreign made non brass 9mm ammo.
Pretty much what your saying is no matter how much money I try to spend, you’re continuing your get rich quick prices. People like you are direct part of the problem. It’s one thing to make money and it’s another to try to high way rob people. Hope you’re proud of yourself.
FC: I can assure you that this isn't a get rich quick situation. I spent plenty of money investing in half a million rounds of ammo about FOUR years ago during the Trump slump and I'm just getting around to realizing profits now. I am not getting rich, nor am I doing it quickly. I hardly think that any investment that takes 4 years to realize a gain is quick.
(No response back)
Subject: Used Ruger 10/22
Message: I’ll give you 175 for it.
FC: Deal. Can you come by today?
(new message, no subject)
Message: I can come by Tomorrow or Thursday.
(I try calling him. VM box is full)
FC: Great! Lets get it done. Your VM box is full. Tomorrow is better.
(new message, no subject)
Message: I can come tomorrow but I only have 150 I can spend at the moment so I’ll probably wait a few days.
FC: What happened to " I’ll give you 175 for it." a few hours ago?
(new message, no subject)
Message: My bad dude. I have a kid I don’t know what to tell you. And I’m pretty sure I said Wednesday or Thursday. If you really want it gone that bad I don’t see what the big deal is.
FC: I was just expecting you to have $175 ready if you said you wanted to deal......So, will Wednesday or Thursday work this week? Bring me cash and your concealed.
(new message, no subject)
Message: No cwl. But you don’t need one for a private sale. I can have your cash.
FC: No CWL no sale.
(new message, no subject)
Message: Yeah I’ll pass. Good luck. You totally should have mentioned that at the start of negotiations.
FC: What part of my ad that said cash and concealed required was unclear?
Yeah. Fucking mondays.
1630 rolls around and our scar loving jarhead walks in. With his wife. And his children. Not one, not two, not three, but FOUR little munchkins. All without an ipad and disney + streaming to keep them occupied. They're not bad kids, just curious at all the little things I have lying around like lower parts kits, magazines, AAC 51T mounts, stuff like that.
He hands over his ID. I look at the address. It's a city two and a half hours away.
FC: Uh, you're a long way from home.
USMC: Yeah I just moved. I'm putting my new address on this form if that's okay.
FC: You have anything with your new address on it? I can't do anything with ID that's not current.
USMC: It's not expired, it's current.
FC: Where do you live?
USMC: (names address locally)
FC: Then this is no longer current. I need something with your new local address on it.
USMC: Oh then I'll just use the old address on this form then.
FC: That's not acceptable. I need a current government document with your new address.
USMC: Here, I have activation orders and training orders from the army.
FC: That won't work. Government document with your new address.
USMC: Here's my W2 from the DOD.
FC: That's not a government document.
USMC: But the DOD gave it to me! It's FROM the department of defense, which is the government!
(Editors note: Did I mention that I hate mondays?)
sigh FC: I can call ATF and ask......
USMC: Please do!
(I phone the ATF area supervisor on his cellular device)
ATF: Mr Hayden, how can I help you today?
FC: Barry, I got a funny one. Guy wants to use his DOD W2/activation orders to get his gun since that has his current address.
ATF: Why? Is there a reason he's unable to get an updated drivers license?
FC: That's a good question Barry, let me find out.
(FC puts ATF on speakerphone)
FC: Hey private first class, ATF wants to know why you didn't update your license
USMC: Uh because I've been busy
ATF: Sir, that's not an answer. I was in the military too and I had to change ID's just like you. If I can had to do it you have to do it.
(Barry was a very long time ago a RIO on the F4 Phantom)
USMC: But I have activation orders! and training orders! and a W2!
ATF: Get your license changed over or produce another document for the licensee to process your transaction.
FC: Thanks barry!
I hang up and tell him that's the area supervisor and I'm playing this one the way he tells me. He needs to produce a document compliant with ATF regulations for me to release this firearm.
USMC: Oh by the way there's a guy with my same name that robbed a bank in Detroit last year, I always get delayed anyways.
(sigh)
I type his stuff into the computer and I get a thumbs up from the computer instantly much to his amazement. I fire off a quick email to the guy who owns the scar
Subject: No current ID
Message: your jarhead friend who wants the scar does not have current ID
No deal? Or what's the plan?
My reply is interrupted. Their oldest child admires the batman dollar on my safe. The youngest child is incessantly clicking a spare pilot G2 pen I had on my desk.
Mother: If you click that pen ONE MORE TIME, you are WALKING HOME.
(kid puts the pen down)
Me, whispering to the kid: It's not that far.
(kid picks the pen back up)
Mother scowls at both of us.
I giggle.
I get back to email.
FC: Lets put it this way. You're gonna owe me for this one. Big time.
His wife starts pulling out auto registrations, USAA insurance cards, cable bills, etc with their new address - NONE of which are useful because none of them are government issued. She updates his and her drivers licenses online at the state website and gives me a voter registration printout confirming the update, but that's not a workable document since it's an informational update and not an actual registration.
Customer that owns the scar walks in and witnesses the flurry of kids playing with gun stuff and two grown ass adults trying to make it all work.
It's been 45 minutes of this.
The guy finally gives up and goes on the state website and gets a fishing license and emails it to me. Stacks a big stack of SCAR magazines that NOBODY has in stock to the order and I charge it onto his USAA mastercard. Had I returned to work on a Friday after hours to get an ID that wasn't current, I would have been apoplectic. Now, I'm just mildly annoyed. I can assure you that anyone who has walked through the hallowed halls of MCRD Parris Island should know to have their shit together. This just seemed like some hybrid of cluelessness more than it was an issue of stolen valor. Gun and mags go out the door.
My customer sits down and starts laughing. I look at him totally nonplussed.
1: That was easy, right?
(FC looks nonplussed)
1: An hour worth of work, for $50! That's good! you should do a few of those a day!
(FC looks nonplussed)
1: Really?
FC: You owe me.
I cut him his check and I'm done for the night. I head home.
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too.... Tuesday
Another day, another box of 9mm at $75 each heading out the door.....I'm down to my last 15,000 rds of 9mm. I sold my entire personal stash of Remington UMC at $67 a box. Now that we're into the Federal American Eagle, it's up to $75. People are thanking me for having it available because they've called everywhere.
This morning's "no I don't have it" calls: 380ACP, 30-40 Krag, 6.5 CM, Grendel and Swede, 2.5" .410 slugs, 3 or 3.5" shells and turkey loads.
Now, for the uninitiated: Turkey season is around the corner. ALL the ammo for turkey loads have been purchased by new shooters looking for home defense ammo since last year. Why turkey loads for self defense?
That's all the cabelas had.... Come season, there will be lots of very disappointed hunters who were unprepared. Those with ammo will hunt, those without ammo will hunt for ammo, and they will not be successful given the state of the ammunition markets. There is far more money to be made cranking out buckshot and slugs than there are turkey shells.
Package comes in for transfer. Guy has a NJ license. He's just moved here. Has NOTHING with his new address. This is basically a repeat of Monday's SCAR sale. The guy here is ADAMANT that he's bought a home here and he can purchase a firearm without being a state resident.
He's technically right. HOWEVER this is why dealers hate doing things: The gun and sale have to follow both the laws of the state he's in
AND the state of New jersey. Now I have to run down all the bullshit that is NJ published ordnances to ensure that this gun is Phil Murphy(TM) approved. For the price of a transfer. BUT WAIT THERES MORE!
The gun is for a BUDDY of his he's giving it to him as a gift when he's down here for a fishing trip in a few days.
https://imgur.com/0cqL7vX Read that last line.
Yeah. I tell him that it's unlawful for him to dispose of a firearm to a non resident. He's wondering what the fuck to do. He insists on taking delivery. I tell him I need to run it down with the address and everything since his NJ license isn't technically valid since HE NO LONGER LIVES THERE.
The guy bought a double wide trailer here, the trailer park handles all the water, the power, the etc - he does not have any REAL property here. He's insistent that he has a deed for his house. He's holding a bill of sale for a mobile home.
sigh I tell him we should just get things sent to his friend via an FFL in his state. The guy lines up an FFL and I fedex the gun to the dealer up there. We need ONE UNIFORM SET OF COHESIVE COMMON SENSE GUN LAWS, not one federal set and 50+ subsections on a state level plus NY State HOME RULE BULLSHIT.
I head home early, telemedicine with Dr Kaplan. He's impressed with my progress. I'm not.
There are no songs that have Wednesday that I can think of here Wednesday, Hump Day
I decide to work from home today. I can take all the phone calls and tell people no I don't have anything from home. I decide to do some early spring cleaning. It's a BEA-U-TIFUL day. The sun is out, nice weather means I can work in the garage for once. I start a load of laundry. Everything starts off fine. I'm sorting through old shot show HK posters when I can smell burning. There's no smoke but I do smell burning. Am I having a stroke? I can't figure it out and I get a load of laundry processed through my carbon neutral solar powered clothes drying system. I start another batch of laundry and hear a massive grinding noise when I should hear the washing machine washing. That burning smell? That was the timer burning up. And I have a full tub of underwear that needs to get done since I'm nearly out. Fuck.
My dad's old toolbox is in disarray. Mine isn't. I quickly grab a few tools. A snap on general service kit is totally overkill, but it's super nice to have EVERYTHING in one spot ready to go. My 1/4 drive ratchet takes apart my washing machine panel with ease. I unplug the timer and hit the electronic bay for a replacement. I find one 2 hours away and they say they can ship immediately on my fedex account. I can get it here tomorrow if they fedex ground it on todays truck. Deal, here's my amex. Email me tracking when it's sent.
One problem arisen, one problem in progress of being fixed. Not bad for before noon.
I get a bunch of stuff stacked up and straightened up and I throw a ton of stuff on facebook marketplace. Old Glock signs and point of sale merchandise like hanging ceiling mobiles, glock pencils, FN pads, FN hats, Daniel Defense stickers and patches, HK pistol racks, some old Colt and Beretta Blue boxes, all that stuff.
People message me about the Colt box. WHATS IN THE BOX they ask.
Well it's an empty fucking box. I made that
VERY clear in the description. So what's my witty rejoinder? A youtube link to the scene from Seven with Brad Pitt yelling at Morgan Freeman "WHATS IN THE BOX? WHATS IN THE BOX?!?!!?!"
They are not amused. I think it's brilliant. They ask me what gun is for sale. I tell them it's just an empty box but if they want a gun, here's my info and call me at work during business hours. I'm then told that people selling empty boxes on facebook aren't selling empty boxes, they're selling guns.
This, I did not know.
Armed with this newfound information, I proceed to post more random stuff from my garage for sale in front of a pile of 20,000 rds of 9mm. An old kegerator and some bar equipment my dad had, a Miller Genuine Draft neon sign backdropped with 5 cases of Winchester Q4170 45ACP and 5 cases of CCI Lawman 147gr 9mm. The messages flood in looking to buy my stuff cheap. But I know what I got.
My favorite interaction:
1: hey man, you got anything else for sale?
FC: Tons of stuff for sale!
1: I'm looking for pews.
FC: I got pews, you want to stop by and check out my pews? I got some real nice ones, super nice. Only used on sunday!
1: Yeah man I'm leaving for lunch in 10 min, give me your address
FC: Sure thing! Here's me, be here in 30 minutes!
I continue to clean up my garage and I pull out some of my dad's old auction finds. Under about 200 old polynesian tiki mugs, I dust off some white oak church pews and pull them into the driveway. The guy tells me he wants to see the pews I got, and I point them out to him in the driveway. White oak, great shape - just needs some lemon pledge and they'll be good as new. He calls me a clown, gets in his car and drives off.
What's wrong with these people?
I return to find 254 facebook marketplace messages for people asking me to sell/ship them guns and ammo to all sorts of places and that facebook has suspended my account for violations of their marketplace terms. The offending item? An old Sig Sauer binder that has a P226 exploded diagram on the front. Because firearm parts are not allowed.
I manage to sell on facebook marketplace an old surefire incandescent rifle light, a blue colt mustang box, a few tin winchester ammo signs, some beer neons that belonged to my dad and some soft pistol rugs that I ordered from RSR on clearance. A productive wednesday. My haul nets me after facebook marketplace fees and shipping about $54 on the shipped items and a few hundred bucks in miscellany. I give my business cards to all the folks looking for gun stuff and they seem surprised that I still have ammo and that they've never heard of me. They do all their ammo and gun shopping online and don't do B&M. That's the way things will be in the future.
I head to the tex mex joint for dinner. I chat it up with a very cute blonde that is the manager. She's just moved into a new place after her man chated on her and she ditched that zero. I offer her my stack of bed bath and beyond coupons.
FC: Starting over is expensive. Maybe this will make it a little bit cheaper.
1: Oh my gosh this will save me a bunch of money! Here, your dinner is on me.
FC: It's been a long time since a woman has bought me dinner. Perhaps I should return that favor. Do you like firefighters?
(she cracks a big smile under the mask)
1: I do, but I'm talking to someone right now.
FC: I can see you ditched the zero, but if it does not work out and you want to get yourself a hero - I'm here pretty often. Just ask and I'll take you to dinner at your favorite place.
I manage to get rejected by a woman
at the same time she bought me dinner.
That takes talent. I head home, pop some ibuprofen and head to bed. I check my email in bed. There's a tracking number.
PICKUP OCCOURED AFTER FEDEX CUTOFF FOR TODAY, PACKAGE WILL BE TENDERED THE NEXT BUSINESS DAY You fucking clowns. You had one job. I call fedex and ask them to hold it at the facility 2 hours away. I'll grab it in the AM. They can't even find it. Fuck it. Leave it. I'll deal with it later.
Thursday, I don't care about you Thursday, or FC makes a new friend!
I head into work a bit early today, as I'm driving down my street, I round the corner and see an older fellow wheeling his trash to the curb. This guy had a '99 Ford F250 extended cab 4x4 with the venerable 7.3 navistar in MINT condition for sale. 129,000 miles, parked in a garage 10 months out of the year. He wanted $16k for this truck and I figured he got tired of tire kickers and lowballs and kept it. I messaged him 3 days after the post went up and I never followed up, I knew the house since I've literally been driving past it MY ENTIRE LIFE on the way to elementary, middle, high school, college and now work.
My passenger window rolls down as I stop right next to the mailbox.
FC: You still got your F250?
1: No! That thing sold in one hour! To a dealer!
FC: Son of a bitch! I wanted that truck, I didn't even know you were selling!
1: Dealer came over in one hour, took a look at it, put cash on the hood, slapped a dealer tag on it and drove it out of here!
FC: Damn! I wish you put a sign on it and I would have stopped.
1: I told my wife I didn't want to sell it to a dealer but my garage isn't big enough!
FC: No kidding. Say, you still got your T bird?
1: My thunderbird? How'd you know I have a thunderbird?
FC: I grew up here! When I was in grade school I'd ride by and you were wrenching on it, when I was in high school, I'd see you wrenching on it from the bus and when I was in college I'd see you wrenching on it on my way home from class!
1: I spent 20 years building that car 2 weeks at a time! You wanna see it?
FC: Well, when you put it that way....
I pull off into the grass. He's got a detached 3500 square foot garage with Snap On's Mr Big not 1 but 2 ben pearson four post lifts. He shows me his thunderbird he's been working on for two decades. We get to talking. He's a commercial alaskan fisherman and he spends 10 months of the year in alaska and seattle running boats. Super nice guy. He asks me what I do for work, and I tell him. He tells me all his friends are scrambling for ammo and he didn't think it was that bad. I tell him it's been that way for about a year. He needs 00 buckshot, 8 or 9 pellet. I just got a small delivery. I tell him I can get him some. I give him my card and tell him call me this afternoon and I'll throw a few boxes in my briefcase and I'll deliver them on my way home. I'm asked about my watch, he's apparently a GMT man as well. We both like fords and stainless GMT's. Nice. He tells me the story about how he accidentally welded the band to his boat in the bering sea while doing repairs with a stick welder.
FC: What do you catch?
1: Pollock, cod
FC: long line?
1: No, trawler..... You know your commercial fishing.
FC: I know my customers.
Impressed at my substantial seafood knowledge, he tells me he'll call me after he checks his safe. I head into work and get some more stuff done.
I get a call from a referral. This guy was busted for selling pot and spent 8 months in miltary prison at Leavenworth. He's wondering if he can still own or have a gun with a bad conduct discharge. I'm not sure. I call my retinue and we agree that it's worthy of research and we should do a bar journal article about it. I love it when a plan comes together.
Doctor lady and her husband come in and their attorney has told them that without a trust, their silencer order will need to be approved by the CLEO of the region. This is why people hate lawyers. I get all their stuff drawn up as they requested with two trusts and interlocking responsible parties. Double the prints and plenty of passport photos all around.
Dead Air is behind on pistons and mounts, as usual but I'm assured by the big man in charge that they will be at wholesalers shortly. I'm so scrambled that I forget to charge her for two cans. No big deal, I'll email her and deal with it when I get her the mounts.
I have a facebook marketplace post up for an old Glock brand Pistol case and some glock brand ear pro. Here's the message:
Hi Will it's John from facebook marketplace I was looking at the glock bb gun and head phones will you show me a pic of the actually glock and does it have a clip and a slide,,??¿?? My old one did but I left it at my apartment I was sharing with friends but I miss having it lmk asap please and thanks sincerely Jeff K.
FC: Lets start here. 1. I don't sell Glock BB guns. 2. I don't have head phones. Were you only interested in BB guns?
Ya I was on Facebook marketplace looking for BB c02 pistols
sigh I go truck shopping online. A guy has a 2011 F250 diesel for $24k. Except it's not a 2011. It's a 2001. I don't know what's more absurd, a 2011 at $24k, when average retail is a shade under $20k or a 20 year old truck selling for half of MSRP.
I'm ready to give up on this. Truck prices are stupid. I check my email. Timer in transit, Fedex has it en route.
I head home and pop a flexiril and head to sleep. The flexeril isn't fixing any of my muscles but manages to knock me the fuck out quite nicely. I need to be up early.
Just got paid, Friday night.... Friday, or FC vs The Washing Machine
As a kid, I always played with my dads toolbox. I took apart tons of stuff and had no idea how to put it back together. Some kids when they're in the tender years made birdhouses and small woodworking projects and it was super fun for them to pretend. Me? I took apart a 1 horse GE electric blower motor my dad short circuited on accident and made a pretend General Electric first generation boiling water nuclear reactor. Which was not really easy to do given the fact that the internet didn't exist in the early 90's. You had to have some modicum of imagination, and in that case your design was neither right nor wrong because nobody could easily prove your design accurate or otherwise. I had effectively built Schrodinger's BWR. I used different colored and sized tapcons and red heads for fuel/control rods if anyone was wondering. I think I can handle the washing machine. Just for good measure I put on my Cal Tech shirt.
As I warm up breakfast, I get an email from a guy named Eddie. He wants to see some 40S&W pistols. I tell him I have a busy morning. I can find some time for him around 10AM if he wants to stop by and I'll have what he's looking for ready.
My fedex guy stops at the Boeing facility first thing in the morning to drop off parts at the loading dock, I know his schedule so I pull up to the dock and hang out there waiting for him. Jeff is right on time and I snag my washer timer. No email back from Eddie so time to head back home to put everything back together. I'm in the middle of buttoning it up when I get a call.
Eddie is standing in my parking lot wanting to check out some 40S&W pistols I have in stock. I tell him all my available inventory on the website and that if he wanted me to have everything ready for him at 10AM, he should have given me an affirmative reply or a phone call. Right now, clean underwear is a priority and Eddie seems to understand this and he says he will chat with me later.
I head back to work. The entire parking lot smells like weed. There's a VW microbus parked on the far side of the lot and I'm downwind of it.
This is not a coincidence.
Wholesale rep tries to sell me $700 complete andersons
again with a min order of 50. Pass.
I get a bunch of messages from other dealers looking to buy ammo off me and resell it to their customers at "reasonable" prices and I tell them they are fools for selling stuff cheap. They just don't get it and they'll be out of business soon.
I get a call from a guy wanting ammo. He wants all my 22LR. I tell him the price and he says "I can't make a profit selling it at those prices!"
This is the reason regular people can't buy ammo just FYI.
It's Friday again. I've got another gun show to prep for. New product just rolls in on the UPS truck. A few glocks, a few shields, and for some reason the rep sent me 5 sets of rear MBUS sights instead of 5 front and 5 rear. Ugh. I manage to get a small allocation of 9mm in on this truck as well as 11 boxes of 10mm! This year is looking better by the week!
I get several calls for AAC mounts that nobody has in stock and the owners are totally confused. One guy had a can and was selling a rifle and sold the
ONLY mount he owned for that can to the guy buying his rifle for $200.
He was under the impression that you could just call AAC and order another mount for $112. I tell him if I can find what he's looking for, I'll need to buy it for $250 from someone and that it will sell for $350-500 by the time I mark it up. He's super confused as to why everyone is running out and buying AAC mounts and why they can't be ordered. I explain AAC/Remington's two bankruptices in 5 years. He is even more confused. I finally blurt it out.
You had ONE mount for your can. You sold it. There are no other mounts. You have paid a tax stamp for and own a can that YOU CAN NO LONGER MOUNT because you sold them. He now realizes the error of his ways. Nothing I can do about that.
Second guy tells me he sees I have AAC mounts. He needs one for his can. I ask him what model he has. He has to crack open the safe.
1: It's an Advanced Armament Corp Norcross Georgia
FC: That's the manufacturer......
1: It's a.........ZERO ENNN DASH ZERO EFFF EFFF
FC: It's a what?
1: It says on the side ZERO ENNN DASH ZERO EFFFF EFFFF
(Editors note:
https://www.advanced-armament.com/assets/products/762-SDN-6.png )
FC: That's not the model.
1: It's not? Then what did I read to you?
FC: That's not a zero. That's the letter O.
- The number O?
FC: O. As in Oh. ENNNN. Dash. Oh. EFFF EFF.
1: I'm confused.
FC: You just read the directions to take the can ON or OFF.
1: Huh that would explain the arrows wouldn't it......
FC: Yeah. What model do you have?
1: It's an MK13-SD!
FC: You need a 90T ratchet mount.
1: Great! You stock em, right?
FC: Nope.
1: But your website has some, those will work right?
FC: Unless you need 51T mounts, I can't help you.
1: Can you suggest someone that can? I need mounts.
FC: AAC is gone, these mounts may never be made again.
1: Shit.
Not to be out done, I get one more phone call.
1: hey this is brent, I need an AAC mount
FC: What model you got?
1: 7.62
FC: Right, thats the caliber.
1: RS7!
FC: SR7?
1: That's the one! I need an SR 7 mount in 5.56, the one I have is in 7.62
FC: Got four here. $400.
1: I just need one.
FC: That is for one.
1: WHAT? FOR ONE? Why's it so expensive?
FC: Remington went under. These may never be made again. I've been buying up everything I've been able to find so I can run the table.
1: That's a good business move.
FC: Not my first rodeo.
1: Well for $400 I'll just take a mount off a rifle I'm not using and I'll set that up. Thanks anyways.
(90 minutes later, my door swings open)
FC: What can I do for you?
1: I'm brent, we talked about that RS7 mount.
FC: SR7.
1: Whatever. I got this here and it does not even fit! It's for the wrong rifle! I need the right mount, this one is in 5.56 I need the one for the 7.62
FC: Lemme see what you got.
(Looks at package. AAC 90T TAPER MOUNT FH SR-5 5.56 1/2x28)
FC: What are you mounting this to?
1: AR15 in 223
FC: This is the correct mount.
1: No it's not! It does not fit!
FC: Does not fit barrel or can?
1: The can! I mounted it to the barrel and the can won't work! Need the one for the RS7!
FC: SR7
1: Whatever! I have a 7.62 can, this mount is for 5.56 and it's the wrong one.
FC: Who sold you this mount?
1: The gun store across the street from my house.
FC: You live an hour away, why didn't you go there?
1: I did, they don't have this mount in 7.62, I went there first.
FC: And they didn't explain this to you?
1: What is there to explain? This mount is marked 5.56. My can isn't 5.56. It's 7.62.
FC: Oh, so you want the one marked 7.62 in 1/2x28.
1: Exactly!
FC: 7.62 mounts aren't made in 1/2x28, all the 90T mounts are 90T exterior and the threading internally is different.
1: You're wrong.
FC: Please, argue with the guy wearing a caltech shirt.....
1: Prove it.
(I open his package and I grab an SR7 out of the safe. I press the latch down and thread it on)
1: You son of a bitch.
FC: You want to argue with me some more?
1: So what mount do I need?
(I pull out one of my mounts and show him side by side they're exactly the same)
1: Hmmmm. Okay. I must have done something wrong.
FC: There's not a lot of ways to do this wrong, but you found one. Go try it again.
(90 minutes later he calls back and tells me I was right)
What the fuck is with all the AAC people this week that are totally clueless?
But hey, at least I have clean underwear.
submitted by I was going to wish everyone a happy new year, but writing this took so long that I'm not sure I still can do it. But just in case, happy new year everyone!
First, a quick announcement: as you can see I'm posting this under a new account. This is because I post A LOT in my other account and many of my posts are NSFW, which was creating trouble for people who wanted to search for my other drama posts, so I made this account to make things easier. Don't worry, none of the past posts are gone. I'll keep a pinned post in my profile with a neat index of all my
/HobbyDrama posts.
Second, this is the kind of year that needs a disclaimer: Back then I got caught in the drama and I had (and still have) some strong opinions about what happened, so when you read this post remember that I may be biased even when I try not to.
(And of course, after proofreading the text I just had to make a typo in the title. /*facepalm)
The usual glossary for people who may not be so familiar with how things are in Eurovision:
- Eurovision:
The Gay Olympics An international music contest in which most countries in Europe and some not in Europe take part. - EBU: European Broadcasting Union, an international body made by many national broadcasters that organizes Eurovision and sets its rules.
- TVE - Radiotelevisión Española, the Spanish national broadcasters that represents Spain at Eurovision.
- Juries: Panels of alleged music experts who vote, both in Eurovision and in national finals.
- Televote: Vote by the public, usually done by phone/SMS and in some cases by internet, both in Eurovision and in national finals.
- National final: A televised show in which a national broadcaster selects their representative, usually with vote by the public.
- Internal selection: When a national broadcaster doesn't hold a national final, an instead appoints an artist to represent them.
So, let's get started. At the end of my last post, we left Spain in the mid-2010's
flip-flopping between internal selections and national finals every couple years and finding that none of that seemed to work, mostly because the work after they chose the song was not really there.
Nevertheless, in 2017 Spain decided to do a national final again, starting with an online call that yielded 392 songs. To avoid another Chikilicuatre situation, the first thing they did was filter them through a panel of judges that picked 30 that would take part in an online selection process ran by a group of fans of the contest.
The most notable contestant in this stage was Brequette.
Remember her? After narrowly missing the spot in 2014, she was one of Barei's backing singers in 2016 (I absolutely forgot about this until I was writing this post. Shame on me.) and now she came back with
No Enemy, a song she and Barei had written together, and I have to admit it was really good and smartly playing all of her strengths. Since she also was carrying the torch of a painful and narrow defeat, the fans instantly wanted her to do well.
After ten days of voting, 55,000 votes had been received. For comparison, the online phase in 2008 had over 300,000 votes and in 2009 and 2010 it had over two million votes. Part of this was that this received very little promotion, and that (for reasons I'll explain later) the stakes here were pretty low.
The top ten songs in the internet vote qualified to the next round. Surprisingly, despite the fan love Brequette only qualified in third place. In this round, the entries were sifted again through a jury panel that chose three of them to qualify for the live final.
And here's where things start to get weird. The winner of the first round,
Nito, not only didn't qualify but placed dead last with zero points from the juries. Brequette didn't qualify either (although she placed fourth). At the end the three qualifiers were
Javián,
Fruela and Vanesa Cortés, better known as
LeKlein, a DJ that was most notable as the girlfriend of
Patricia Yurena, the first ever Miss Universe contestant to come out as a lesbian (This is not relevant to the post, by the way. I just thought you might like the trivia). There was some criticism for dropping Brequette, but it came mostly from hardcore fans. The rest of the public felt that was part of the process, let's move on.
This all happened in the second half of December in 2016. In early January a live final was held with a winner decided exclusively by online vote. LeKlein got 63% of the vote, and therefore she won... a pass to the next round of the competition.
What, did you think things would be straighforward? First rule of this year: NO.
Turns out this whole trick and pony show was to pick a wildcard for the real final, which is why neither TVE nor the public cared that much about it, even if it got a lot of praise for doing a quite decent show with almost no budget. The real final would be a month later, where LeKlein would face five other artists internally chosen by TVE. Time to meet them:
First we had Mario Jefferson, a one-member boy band with a couple hits under his belt, coming with
Spin my Head. Then Paula Rojo, a country singer and probably the most notable contestant leading to the national final, with
Lo que Nunca fue. Then Maika Barberó, a rock singer and probably the least notable contestant leading to the national final, with
Momento Crítico..
Usually I would link their performances in the national final, but turns out TVE didn't care enough to upload them. They were the bottom three of the final and most of them don't matter that much for this post. As long as you remember who Mario is you're fine.
Then Mirela, who was not at all a stranger to trying for Eurovision. In 2004
she had tried to participate in Junior Eurovision placing second to María Isabel
who won the whole thing that year.. She tried to represent Spain in Eurovision in 2007 with
La Reina de La Noche, placing second, in 2008 with
Stronger, not reaching the final, and in 2009 with
Nada es Comparable a Ti, placing fourth. This year she was trying with
Contigo, a very tropical Spain-by-numbers song.
Then, Manel Navarro, a relative newcomer to the musical scene that had released his first singles the previous year and entered
Do It For Your Lover, which was kinda... reggae influenced surfer pop, dare I say? He had released it earlier that year and it was already bubbling in the charts.
And finally, LeKlein.
You may notice Mario and Manel were singing partly in English and LeKlein had zero Spanish in her song. Maybe RAE protested like they did in previous years, I'm not sure. To be frank, with all that happened this year no one paid attention if they said anything. I recall that the radio version of Manel's song was entirely in English but he added some Spanish for the national final, though.
Mirela and Manel quickly positioned themselves as the frontrunners. Maybe Paula could have a chance to beat them because of her fame but her song was perceived to be too weak, and anything that wasn't either of them going to Eurovision would have been a big upset.
Mirela's supporters nicknamed themselves (ourselves, I was there) #TeamSenosAlAire, which means #TeamBoobsOutInTheAir. (It was because of the intentionally misheard lyrics at the start of Contigo, "Sueños al Aire/Dreams Out in The Air"). Manel's supporters, in an amazing display of creativity, nicknamed themselves #TeamManel.
There was a bit of debate before the final. Manel's fans thought Mirela's song was too stereotypical, going for Spanish clichés, and that she was maybe a bit too desperate to go to Eurovision. Mirela's fans thought Manel's song was too bland and relying on foreign clichés, and that he didn't have that much of a personality. But still, even with the tension and rivalry, the fandom was civil.
The final was planned for February 12th, and it was only a day and a half before that TVE published the rules and the juries and all hell broke loose:
- One of the juries was Javier Cárdenas, a radio host that pretty much hates Eurovision and is stuck in the El Chiki Chiki era, which along with some racist and classist opinions makes him very despised by the fandom.
- Another was Virginia Díaz, a reasonable prestigious TV and radio presenter.
- And finally, Xavi Martínez, a radio host that had been campaigning heavily in favor of Manel, had invited him to interviews in his shows and promoted his song in his programs. He worked for Los 40, a channel renowned for basing its song rankings on label deals instead of popularity and that had a promotional deal with Manel.
Also, there were a couple changes with the rules:
- In previous years, the juries voted at the same time the public did and locked their votes before the televote was revealed, so none of them could influence the other. This year, they would retire to deliberate after the televote ended and then reveal their votes. So, they would be able to adjust their votes based on the results of the televote.
- In previous years, in case of a tie for first place, the tiebreaker would be the televote (This played in 2009 and 2014, sending Soraya and Ruth. Here you can see Ruth's victory). This year, the tiebreaker would be a show of hands by the jury.
Remember, this was published on a Friday, for the final that would take place in Sunday.
Most of the fans instantly called this sus. Even looking at this with the best spirits it seemed that TVE was tilting things heavily in favor of Manel, by putting a jury that was guaranteed to push him to the top and two more juries with close ties to TVE that could push its narrative, and giving the juries the final say just in case.
The conspiracy theory was that, since Manel had recently signed with Sony Music, they were interested in raising his profile and had pulled some strings to make sure he would go to Eurovision and TVE was playing along with it. I have to admit it seems more plausible than other years, although it's never been confirmed.
Manel's fans countered that juries were allowed to have their opinions about the songs and that Xavi had never openly stated that Manel was his favorite, he had only said that he liked the song, and that if anything, TVE was to blame for putting him in the jury.
Here you can see a tweet of Xavi one month before the final, in a photo with Manel, saying
"It's beautiful to be part of the birth of a star. Long live talent and live music. Enjoying you from the start, Manel. You can see in the replies people right after the announcement that he was a jury, asking him "Who will get your top marks tomorrow? I still can't figure it out", asking him if he and Manel were fucking, and calling him disgusting and a sellout.
Manel's competitors complained too. Several did it anonymously, according to a leak in the press, but at least Mario Jefferson
posted a tweet indirectly calling it out. TVE's response was that they had already been informed of the rules and had accepted them. (Although they found out about the juries along with everyone else)
And because one drama was not enough, the day before the final
all the artists complained that the TV setup was riddled with technical problems, the lighting was bad and the sound was barely acceptable, and that the stage had been so poorly planned that they wouldn't be able to show well at the same time for the cameras and the juries.
And because two dramas were not enough, the very same day the winner of 2009, Alexander Rybak,
revealed that he had received a last-minute invitation to appear as a guest in the final, with around 30 hours to travel to Spain and get ready. He obviously said
thanks but no thanks, and other fans
unearthed tweets of TVE trying to contact other artists, presumably with the same purpose. TVE was quite ridiculed for this, particularly because the head of delegation had stated multiple times that they had began working towards 2017 the day after the 2016 contest ended.
By the way, one thing that fans do every years is obsessively check the odds in the bets to win Eurovision and try to guess how well or bad the year will go by how the odds behave. This year, right before the national final, Spain was last. That is, no one believed that any of the songs in the national final had an actual chance at Eurovision.
Remember, all of this happened in pretty much a day and a half. (I missed most of that because I was on vacation with my family and only turned it up to watch the final and I still noticed how bad it was and how biased the juries were)
But enough setup and backstory. Let's dive into the drama.
The final was BAD. TVE only bothered to upload the performances of
Manel,
Mirela and
Leklein but the audio was very rough and the stage looked cheap, bare, and with a nostalgic vibe reminiscent of
Eurovision 1993. I wish they had kept Mario's performance because he was the only one that managed to make the stage look good...ish.
In the prior two days, when discussing Xavi's support for Manel, the fans of Manel had said that he would play fair, maybe even refrain from giving Manel top marks because it could be too blatant.
First rule of this year: NO.
He basically offered Manel a record deal in the middle of the final, gave him his highest mark, and he gave his lowest mark to Mirela. The second jury, Virginia, also put Manel in the top and Mirela in the bottom, and the third jury, Javier Cárdenas, gave his top mark to Mirela and his second top mark to Manel. Overall, Manel ranked first with the juries with 34 points, while Mirela was joint third with 22 points.
Then it came the televote.
Look how happy Manel and Mirela were during the voting. Mirela won with 36 points and Manel was third with 24, so they tied for first place at 58 points and it came down to a show of hands by the juries, with Xavi and Virginia voting for Manel and Javier for Mirela, which meant Manel won... a pass to the next round of competition.
No, I'm just kidding. This was the real thing. Manel won the right to represent Spain at Eurovision.
A large part of the public began whistling, booing and shouting accusations of fraud, to which Manel responded with a
bras d'honeur.. I don't know how familiar you are with this gesture, but it's only slightly more polite than flipping them off. The last time something like that happened in a Spanish national final was with John Cobra back in 2010, and Cobra was... well, Cobra.
This was probably the most chaotic and worst managed national final in Spain. With Cobra they were just taking out a troll but the public, hosts, juries and contestants were all on the same page. Here the public was split in two sides going at each other's throat while one of them was also raging against the juries and the winner.
Also, a man in the public tweeted that Xavi had been assaulted when he was trying to leave the hall. Anyway, plot developments on the next two days:
There was
a press conference to formally present Manel and no one from TVE, not even the Head of Entertainment Toñi Prieto, who had been in charge of organizing and overseeing the national final, went there. They just left Manel to deal with that alone.
In the press conference Manel apologized for his gesture, saying that he had acted on the heat of the moment. It was revealed that
Prieto's daughter worked at Sony and was part of Manel's promotion team.
A Twiter hashtag asking for Prieto to quit or be fired from her position became the #1 trending topic in Spain. At some moments there were three different hashtags against her in the top trends.
Mirela's grandpa died. (
I am NOT making this up)
Manel's defenders blamed the reaction of the public saying that it was full of eurofans and fans of Mirela that were sore losers because their favorite had lost. (Eurofans is basically a stereotype of gay dudes who live for Eurovision and will fall head over heels over the first diva they find. Think me, then add a lot of glitter.)
Xavi, who was getting most of the blame for the results, penned
an open letter defending his decisions, reiterating that the contestants had been informed of the rules and had accepted them, explaining that he had promoted Manel before even knowing that one would be in the final and the other would be a jury, that people should have protested when they knew the rules (
Reminder: they had basically a day and a nalf *on a weekend** to do so and when the artists protested they were shut down*), challenging everyone who accused him of rigging the voting to come forward with proof and saying that he wanted nothing to do with Eurovision again.
He confirmed that a member of the public had assaulted him and he had to resort to the hall security to make it out safely.
His co-judge Virginia also confirmed it. Some fans replied with a similar challenge: If (as he said) the assault had been filmed, he should press charges. As far as I know he never did it. There was a rumor that the aggressor had been
one of the songwriters for LeKlein but he denied it.
People scoured Xavi's twitter looking for every single interaction with Manel and his team to help the narrative (including a dinner with Manel several weeks before the final and getting Christmas gifts from Manel's manager). They also found
a video recorded from the public in the national final showing someone that seemed to be Xavi celebrating Manel's win. At the end it was never confirmed if it was indeed Xavi, but the general consensus was that it was someone else.
A journalist that had been sitting backstage
released a video with is own perspective saying that things had been even more tense than it had shown on TV and that the conflict hadn't just been that the public had been filled with eurofans or supporters of Mirela. There were supporters for all the artists and all of them had split along the vote with a majority siding with Mirela. While he didn't confirm the assault to Xavi, he described a scenario in which it was very credible. And this will sound lame after all that, but he also noted that they had been given sparklers to light during the performances, but no means to light them, just to put an extra nail in the coffin of the organizers.
Several petitions to disqualify Manel were launched, and
most of them were closed the same day when their organizers received threats from other fans.
Let's introduce, because why not, yet ANOTHER player. Nicky Triphook was a singer that took part in the online phase of the competition with
Daddy's Little Girl and had failed to advance past the second jury round, which somehow left him with an axe to grind towards TVE. He had already
criticized Xavi's presence in the juries (you know, the kind of thing Xavi said nothing had done) and called him
shameful, he had
accused Manel's girlfriend of shouting insults to others in the final, and when Xavi asked for proof of the rigging, he
published a purported screenshot of a conversation where, allegedly, one month before the national final someone told him that it was already decided that Manel would go to Eurovision. He didn't give any other information, he didn't speak up before, and it was the kind of thing that was pretty easy to fake, but still a lot of people took the accusations and ran with them. Some took it even further, saying that
all the artists knew it but they had still done it for the exposure.
At least Mario Jefferson took issue with that..
And finally,
a member of the Spanish Parliament put up a motion of inquiry requesting the heads of TVE to clarify what had happened to generate that level of controversy, how had they allowed it to happen, and whether they would keep Manel as a representative. A week later
Toñi Prieto was formally cited to testify before congress.
At the end this came down to a scapegoat. TVE
published a communication defending their decision, saying that they had not broken any of the rules of Eurovision, and also (say it with me) that the artists had been informed of the rules
two days before the final and had
protested but been ignored accepted them. And Federico Llano, the Head of Delegation (that is, the one in charge of everything Eurovision-related in Spain, responding directly to Toñi Prieto) resigned after fourteen years in that position. That was enough to satisfy Congress.
Overall, even if there had been no conflicts of interest, this came up as horribly mishandling the optics. It would have been much better to accept this looked bad, say they would take measures so it wouldn't happen again, and then send Manel anyway.
There was a small part of the fans that felt the entire process of the national final had been so rotten that it was unsalvageable and it would be better to cancel the whole thing and send LeKlein (who at least had won the online phase without that kind of controversy), but again, nothing came out of it.
In a now-deleted interview, LeKlein also levelled her own accusations of vote rigging, which were
denied by Manel.
During the months leading to Eurovision, Manel had to endure a level of bullying and hate that no other Spanish contestant had ever received. Threats, comments in all his social media posts calling him a thief and asking him to quit, wishes for him to place last, fans asking in social media not to vote for him, accusations of sexism because
the official video for the song had several shots of a girl's ass... you name it, it happened. And to be fair to him, save for that first outburst in the night of the final, he handled it rather well.
Probably the dumbest controversy in that time was that the music video had ben shot in a cloudy day. Yup. People took issue with that. Because it was supposed to showcase the best side of Spain and they were surfing and that means SUN. And here again, Nicky Triphook came in with the hot take that the video hadn't been shot in Spain, but in the
Canary Islands. Which are part of Spain. And Spaniards are very touchy about the unity of their country, for
political reasons that we won't talk about, so the fans
jumped to his throat until he clarified that he meant that the WEATHER in the Canary Islands was not the same as in mainland Spain. Crisis averted. 👍
The divisions of the fandom continued during all this time. In one side people attacking the results and convinced that it all had been rigged, and in the other people saying it had all been fair and Mirela's fans were sore losers that had to learn to let go, and they also blamed Mirela for not asking her fans to stop. There were also some guys who thought Mirela was so bad that they were okay with rigging things if that meant she didn't go to Eurovision (If you ask if those were amongst the ones who claimed foul and were all for fair play because of
the allegations of playback in Junior Eurovision, the answer is OF COURSE).
This also sparkled a debate about the general criteria Spain uses to choose their artists. There were comments that Spain had wanted to internally select Manel but they didn't want to face criticism because he didn't have much trajectory, so a final tilted in his favor could be seen as an undercover internal selection, and there was a heated debate about how the Spanish public sometimes has too high standards for the kind of artists they want, which in turn makes credible artists not want to do anything with Eurovision and that leaves spain scraping the bottom of the barrel.
Manel went to several of the pre-contest parties (There are usually six: Amsterdam, London, Madrid, Tel Aviv, Riga and Moscow, but Riga and Moscow are smaller and usually have mostly or only artists from Eastern Europe), he striked a very nice friendship with
Nathan Trent from Austria and Imri Ziv from Israel (If you like shirtless men as much as I do, by all means go to Imri's Instagram. You're welcome), and overall he arrived to Eurovision... not in the best spirits, but in some kind of spirits at least. He was working with Hans Pannecoucke, a stage designer famous for the staging of
the runner up in 2014, which is one of THE mythical stagings in Eurovision, and although no one expected him to do something that good, people were expecting a reasonable quality level.
A couple days before the final TVE finally released the voting data of the national final, showing that Mirela got
more than twice the votes of Manel, because somehow THAT was the perfect moment to do that.
For financial reasons, Spain automatically qualifies to the final, so Manel didn't have to deal with semifinals.
In the final, the performance was... there.
Well, I think it was a performance.. The staging wasn't bad but it wasn't extraordinary either, the backing musicians were standing in front of their instruments and you could hear them in their microphones, the lights were on and sometimes they even moved and changed colors, the backing track was playing and the cameras were rolling. In summary, there were things happening on the staje, but not interesting things. Neither Pannecoucke not Manel delivered. It was a very forgettable performance, which probably the worst thing you can do in Eurovision. Being really bad or wacky at least can make people remember you.
Manel sounded a bit nervous but in general acceptable, until he didn't. Right before the last chorus,
he had one of the worst voice cracks ever in the history of the contest which was probably the most memorable moment of his entire performance.
Then it came the moment of the votes. Since 2016 a new voting system was in place, in which juries and televote give their votes separately and the final score is the sum of both votes. Manel placed last with the juries with no points, and people were preparing for another zero score in the televote.
Now, if you're going to place last in Eurovision, particularly with such a controversial entry as Manel and in a country that has a hate/love relationship with the contest heavily tilted towards hate, it's better to place last HARD. Getting also a zero score from the televote would have meant that from 82 voting bodies that could have voted for Manel (41 other countries in the contest, with a jury and a televote each) he had managed to get none of them to vote for him. It would have been quite a feat.
First rule of this year: NO.
There was a country that got a zero in the televote, but it wasn't Spain. It was Austria, represented by Manel's buddy Nathan Trent. (
Which was a fucking robbery, by the way.) Manel got five points all from Portugal, which still kept him in last place but without even the bragging rights of a complete zero.
Interviewed right after the contest, he said there was nothing he would self-critique, and the Spanish head of delegation also stated that they saw no need to change anything for the following years. Even the public that had been indiferent towards Manel took a stand ridiculing him.
The voice crack got a remix and
multiple parody videos and social media was filled with messages mocking him.
Suddenly, that song and result became something absolutely no one wanted to touch. The yearly talk-show that airs right after Eurovision in Spanish TV to discuss the show and the results was cancelled without even an announcement. This is how much everyone wanted NOT to talk about it.
Manel himself said tried to distance himself from his own participation, saying that
he had written the song when he was 15 and had tried to submit other song instead, implied that he had been forced to go with that one, and said that the whole surfer image he had since the national final had been mostly a character created for TV.
Everyone decided to scapegoat the result on the voice crack (although the juries had voted with the rehearsal of the night before without a voice crack, and still had decided that Manel deserved zero points) and more generally on Manel's performance and lack of experience.
TVE basically left him alone, publishing an editorial titled
Spain places last after Manel's voice crack. The day after the final
Xavi tweeted that the performance and result were "unforgivable" and when he was reminded that he had voted for Manel he tried to discharge responsibility on
all three judges plus the public vote of the national final, and a couple days later he stated that
supporting Manel had been a mistake and the song was not right for Eurovision. (At least
Mario Jefferson came forward to defend Manel. That's something, I guess.)
In the following weeks there was
another Congress inquiry that had the same results as the first one (spoiler: NOTHING), and multiple calls for the dimission of the heads of TVE that achieved also nothing.
And the reaction for a large part of the fandom could be sumed up in a massive
"TOLD YOU SO". (I know I did. I read my old posts about this.)
There was a lot of recrimination amongst fans, still divided between blaming Manel, blaming the lack of support towards Manel, saying that Mirela would have been better, saying that it didn't matter because she was bad... the only thing all the fans agreed was saying that TVE sucked.
Besides blaming Manel, lots of people also blamed Mirela. If only she had stopped her fans from attacking Manel and making him so unsure of himself his voice had cracked... if only the controversy hadn't made this a PR disaster for TVE and Spain... nevermind that hours before the final
she had tweeted in support for Manel, this was more likely a provocation to throw him off balance and a PR move to make herself look good.
A couple months later, asked about the reports that
TVE had blacklisted Mirela from all their shows, Manel commented that
it wasn't her fault, but it was a natural consequence of the actions of her supporters. As something only tangentially related, while I was browsing old forum posts to unearth all this drama (and there was A LOT, I literally skimmed around 300 pages between the national final and the aftermath, plus Nicky Triphook's entire twitter timeline), I found
this sketch that is probably one of the funniest eurovision-related things Spain has ever done. If you don't recognize the girls there it has Soraya, Ruth, Edurne, Rosa, Massiel, and at the end Mirela trying to get in. If you speak any Spanish, give it a try.
I have to confess, writing this was a cathartic experience for me. (This paragraph is mostly my personal perspective, if you allow me) As I said at the beginning, I got caught in the drama and still disliked Manel, but after writing this I mostly feel sorry for him. Seems he was offered a sand castle and then got discarded once he outlived his usefulness to Sony and TVE. Regarding the blame, I would say if you follow the threads you always end up at TVE. Yes, all the harassment Manel had to endure took a toll on him, but there was a whole machinery behind that could have prevented it or tried to stop it and did nothing. Yes, at 20 and with little experience, Manel was one of the greenest contestants Spain had ever sent, but TVE could and should have covered up for his lack of experience. The same year Belgium sent a seventeen year-old reject from The Voice that
reached top 4 and in 2010 Germany won with a nineteen year-old with
basically zero experience, because their TVs put the kind of work that TVE would never put in.
I still dislike Xavi, though.
So, to wrap things up, where are they now?
So far, TVE has complied with their promise of making no significant changes and the results have followed. 2020 was the beginning of a change but we never got to see it in action because the contest was cancelled.
Nearly all the participants in the national final have kept on with music careers, except for Maika that became a youtuber with very extreme opinions about Eurovision that basically no one agrees with.
Brequette still hasn't gone to Eurovision.
Xavi has continued working in radio and was a judge in later editions of the X Factor.
Mirela moved on to do musical theater, and
said that this was a very painful experience for her and she probably won't be willing to go through that again but doesn't completely rule it out.
Manel, surprisingly after all he went through and how damaged his image was after Eurovision, still has a music career. He has released several singles per year and while none of them has been a hit, he still has more a career than, say, Barei. Which is not much but it's something.
He also opened up about how bad things were during and after Eurovision. Oh, and Nicky Triphook had a change of heart and now he loves Xavi and thinks he's an amazing person. So, that's it for this post. Stay tuned for the next couple years, or how letting shippers pick your entry based on their ships is probably not a good idea.
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